[Intro: sample from "Bobby Brown Goes Down" by Frank Zappa]
God I am the American Dream (Canadian)
I do not think I'm too extreme
And I'm a handsome son of a b**h (yeah!)
I'm gonna get a good job and be real rich
(Hey, get a good job...)
Oh, you done f**ed up
[Verse]
Dear Mother, I promise I will never be a Plumber
I'll go to college, study every single summer
It makes me wonder, who would ever want to be a Plumber, Garrett?
I guess your parents never cared enough to
Raise you proper, cause if they hadda, they woulda taught ya
Don't ever ever talk back to Papa
You scanning through my Instagram and Twitter feed for dirt
Yeah I like to sketch so let me draw this out for you, it shouldn't hurt
On second thought it probably will, see, Matty said it best
I'm kicking down, you're just a piece of sh** stuck to my heel
Look I kept it real, Complex they never mentioned it
But they only mentioned you because you sound so f**ing desperate
"And one rapper Garrett Plummer went so far as to write
An entire six-song Beef Season album
Dot dot dot, um
And it's six songs wack."
Cleve said it best, b**h take your six songs back
Grab a drink at the bar, let me pour you a shot, man
Now fix the sink, sh**, you're still on the clock, damn
Pull up your pants, I don't need to see that a** crack
Calling up Roto-Rooter, demanding my cash back
Just fix the logjam, Plumbers shouldn't talk, man
Kiss my pinkie ring because I'm really King like Richard Bachman
Rrah, you feel me? So s** a co*k, man
It's Richard Bachman, who's your b**h jockin'?
[Hook]
Yo, people call me Dick, and they call you dick too
Well, my name is Richard though; what's your excuse?
I'm the King, the motherf**ing King
The motherf**ing King, son, yeah I'm the motherf**ing King
People call me Dick, and they call you dick too
But my name is Richard; what the hell is your excuse?
I'm the King, the motherf**ing King
Motherf**ing King, yeah, I'm the motherf**ing King
[Outro]
And that's it
(toilet flushing)
(On Broooadwaaaay)