In Scranton, Pennsylvania
Where there's not that much to do
One night a girl stole h**n
And stuck it up her hoo hoo
Who, who puts h**n in that space?
Who wants d** in their private place?
If you've read the headlines you know it's true
A chick with a remarkable vagina, that's who
Let me tell the entire tale
Of how this gal wound up in jail
When the police asked what she had done
She just pulled it out one by one
54 bags of h**n, 31 bags for more
A handful of prescription pills
I'm already feeling sore
51 dollars and 22 cents
In one small crevice in her uterus
It's crazy but it's true
That she fit all of that up in her hoo
If I had a remarkable vagina
I'd never lose my keys
I'd always have some extra space
For emergencies
Open up my front door
'Cause there's always room for more
If you've got some things to store
Well, that's what friends are for
I'd put your phone in it, cash in it, comb in it, pens in it, book in it
And your ChapStick too
Ring in it, brush in it, checks in it, wine in it, fork in it
All of it just like new
Where's my keys? Where's my cat?
Now I know where everything's at
It's crazy, ain't it strange
That something so small can fit all those things
Who puts h**n in that space?
Who wants d** in their private place?
If you've read the headlines you know it's a true
A chick with a remarkable vagina, that's who
A chick with a remarkable vagina, who knew
I wish my vagina was remarkable, too