ATTENTION STUDENTS GET YOUR ASS TO CLASS Welcome to English 101 During the course of this elective You will learn How to construct a sentence How to break a sentence How to tell a story And most importantly You will learn And most importantly You will learn You will learn And most importantly You will learn You will learn You will learn That I'm an exclamation Marxist Um, cross-check that Double Windsor knot tie-bow Tell William that Apple's not a bull's eye Yolk that polka dot.com fake address Apostrophe police gonna frame you For possessive Noun's got a sentence case Up against it You better get your facts checked, mate I ain't playing, these words are a bulletproof vest So respect it Comma jury's double blind-dated Your appeal sounds jaded Your camaraderie's fake, and I sense that Semi-colonSensei trained me with an iron-fist To resist pseudo-lexi-politics So I ain't falling for your skit, no I ain't buyin' 'to that sh**, no You can keep peddlin' your sh**, though But I ain't falling for that skit, no They say education is the only field where you can rip people off And feel like you're doing them a service Step up to the pun executioner
Chop chop at the guillotine Block block block block Do the headless chicken dance Chop chop with your neck on the chopping block A noose is a good excuse you could use When you lose your head And do the headless chicken dance This sh**'s gonna hang to your pants, man Or in the back of your mind To back of the line In the back of the cla** In the back of the cla** is where we'd hang Backpackin', I'm packin', you're packin', he's packin' With a pat on the back, with a pat on the back With a pat on the back that's so patronizing Stackin' dollar bills brought forward, keen interest Sent to some unknown college in some first world country that we're not gonna ever see And I'll tell you why, it's ‘cause we're still stuck In this credit appreciated economy of bad luck But most importantly you will learn Maybe get a degree, or drop out Like I did You used to write your friends as foes And rescue wounded animals To climb atop your pedestal Pedantic antics plentiful Don't you feel better ‘bout yourself, now? When your grammar's correct and you can spell Your worst enemies as friends Would you feel bitter about yourself?