My mother saw me kiss a boy
When I was only ten
Well you might think that's not too bad
But things were different then
She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knee, she said
I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knee, she said
I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
They stop you getting pregnant and catching STDs
Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...
Said all men are ba*tards
There's two things they want from you
Someone at home to cook their meals
And someone they can screw
Then after twenty-seven years
They'll get a little itch
And they'll run off and leave you
For some thirty year old b**h
My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knee, she said
I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
She said if you use a condom you can do just what you please
They stop you getting pregnant and catching STDs
I don't think my mother liked boys very much
Then your thoughts might turn to girlies
Don't fight it, it's okay
There really is no problem
If you find out that you're gay
But you might find it hard to form
Long-term relationships
So my advice, just grab the girl
Who's got the biggest tits
My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knee, she said
I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
They stop you getting pregnant and catching STDs
Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...
When she runs off with someone else
It might not be the end
Cause you might take a fancy
To our fine four-legged friends
But their bits are all in different parts
You won't know what to do
So I bought this book with diagrams
Especially for you
My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knee, she said
I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
They stop you getting pregnant and catching STDs
Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...
Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...
Or you might turn to your family
A couple's not too bad
Just remember uncle Kevin's mine
And don't go with your dad
I said ma, don't patronize me
Don't take me for a fool
Everything you've said we learned three years ago in school!
My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knee, she said
I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
They stop you getting pregnant and catching STDs
Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...