Julie and Russell sat one night
Russell sparked up a Marlboro Light
Julie's eyes were all ablaze
As Russell tried to shun her gaze
He knew the look, he knew the score;
It seemed more manic than before
Russell cringed in fear and dread
As Julie pulled him near and said:
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I've had a really good idea
We'll re-vamp, make more camp
A sci-fi show from yester-year
I've had banter with Tranter
Your written word will be hailed in the ming mong mantra
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
But he said…
I can't do it!
I can't do it!
You're asking far too much of me
I'm hara**sed, embara**ed;
I've watched the show since I was three
Don't choose me, don't use me
My mother sent a note to say you must excuse me
I can't do it!
I can't do it tonight!
So she said…
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
Make a brand new Doctor Who
We've got Chris in, all's missing
Is a sidekick and an all-Welsh crew
It's not silly to ask Billie
We'll film in every quarry from here to Caerphilly
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
Ooh, then he said…
I can't do it!
I can't do it!
The pressure of the BBC
I must e-mail some young male
To alleviate the stress on me
I can't block out, please lock out
Images of Johnny B getting his co*k out
I can't do it!
I can't do it tonight!
She replied…
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
Phil okayed my offer to produce
We'll get Trac to take flack
When he lets his raging temper loose
My decision to use your vision
Will make the show the best thing on the television
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
And he squawked…
I can't do it!
I can't do it!
Chris is giving up his role
No Time Lord? Oh good Lord
How we're gonna fill this role?
It's too complex, we're all wrecks
My brain is overflowing with a bloody Dalek
I can't do it!
I can't do it tonight!
She excitedly said…
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
We'll get another Time Lord in
Don't sweat it, you can't let it
Make you sad and maudlin
It's not over, and moreover
We'll get the lovely fellow in from Casanova
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
And he yelled…
I can't do it!
I can't do it!
I really think that I can't cope
More re-writes, no respite-
I think I've given up all hope
It'll get canned, it'll be panned
Lou says there's no costumes in the whole of England
I can't do it!
I can't do it tonight!
Then she proclaimed…
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
Martha Jones is Freema Agyeman
We'll bring back Captain Jack
To fight against the Cybermen
We'll cast a great Master
He can plunge the planet into global disaster
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
And he screamed…
I can't do it!
I can't do it!
You've cast Australia's pop princess
It's madness, my sadness
Will make this episode a mess
My panic is manic-
The uproar when I k** her off on the Titanic!
I can't do it!
I can't do it tonight!
And she expelled…
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
The Doctor needs a brand new mate
Don't linger, go ginger
I'm gonna bring back Catherine Tate
I wanna, you're gonna
Reunite the Doctor with the fabulous Donna
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
He punctuated…
I can't do it!
I can't do it!
I've got obsessed with E4's Skins
Writer's block. Please don't mock
It takes my mind off other things
It's so lame
I must blame dirty thoughts I'm having about Midshipman Frame
I can't do it!
I can't do it tonight!
Excitedly she said…
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
To film abroad will get my vote
I promise Ed Thomas can't bring Ancient Rome to Upper Boat
It's D-Day on Pompeii;
The forums will be buzzing on Outpost Gallifrey
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
And he roared…
I can't do it!
I can't do it!
The studio in Rome's ablaze
On fire, it's dire-
How the hell are you not phased?
It's mental. Be gentle
They say the cause of fire was a Berkley Menthol
I can't do it!
I can't do it tonight!
So she roared…
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
We've got kids back behind settees
Our mission, ambition
Was a show for all the families
We should try as our goodbye
A ha**le-free excursion to sunny Dubai
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
But he shouted…
Oh, let's do it!
Let's do it!
I feel like I've been set free
I won't sweat it, now Moffat
Is taking up the reins from me
I can't wait, it's just great-
I've got a cracking way for Dave to regenerate
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
Guess what?
They did it!
They did it!
They opened up the TARDIS door
They're terrific, prolific
Made it better than it was before!
A ‘thank you' from your crew
We crown you both the King and Queen of Doctor Who
You did it!
You did it tonight!