[Intro A: Narrator]
After a long night of drinking and partying with fast women, with his good friend El-P, Justin goes home to get some good rest. He turns on the TV, and it's Cat Week. What's the worst that could go wrong?
[Intro B: El-P (k**er Mike)]
Hold up
(Oh my)
[Verse 1: El-P]
f** the law; they can eat my dick, that's word to Pimp
I don't f** with or talk like all these f**in' imps
Style violent, give a f** if you deny it, kids
You can all run naked backwards through a field of dicks
f** the world; don't ask me for sh**, that's word to B.I.G
I dreamt we owned the world, but I've woken up, and it don't exist
Soak it in, I need no a**ist, you can't slap my wrist, I don't owe you sh**
Trust me, I'm a Doctor DOOM, oper-ate of my pulse, won't raise a bit
[Verse 2: k**er Mike]
Tip-toe on the track like a ballerina; ski mask in a Pontiac Catalina
It's obese, female opera singer; you can run the j**els or lose your fingers
Me and El-P got time to k**, got folks to k** on overk**
He hangin' out the window; I hold the wheel, one black, one white, we shoot to k** (Oh my God!)
That f**boy life about to be repealed; that f**boy sh** about to be repelled
f**boy Jihad, k** infidels, Allah Akbar, BOOM, from Mike and El
[Verse 3: El-P]
Life is hell, d**h's a b**h, and these fubar rulers getting rich
I cop a zip, it opens up, I smoke it up, go home, and f**
C'est la vie, girl, when in Rome; I gave the face, please pay with dome
My business card says, "You're in luck; I do two things: I rap and f**."
[Verse 4: k**er Mike]
I f** and rap, I tote the strap, I smoke the kush, I beat the puss
I read the books, did the math, don't need a preacher preachin', on my behalf
No teacher can teach, my arrogant a**, I'm blowin' on crippy, while readin' inscriptions
That's written by Egyptians, and sippin' on whiskey! Aye baby, you with me?
[Hook: k**er Mike (Justin)]
(Where am I? What is this? What are these- What are these cats doing?! What are they doing?! Stop, please, no!! STOP!!)
Oh my, don't cry
Oh my, don't cry
[Verse 5: El-P]
We run this spot, like a Chinese sweatshop
Don't stop, work it, work, it 'til chest pop - Cardiac arrested
I'm so invested, I'm self-invented, that no illusion, there's no confusion
You see the future, you fear the future, I've seen the truth, and I'm so deluded
I've... Been a better bad guy, than I been, better than bad
Been a bit a bully talk, beating in my chest, in fact
I'm a half stack, from a rack, I been around the block, babe, I know a few facts
Maniac, brainiac, run go, tell them that, ATLien, NY felon rap
[Verse 6: k**er Mike]
Handle me wrong, I'm snappin'; show up at your cla**, what's happenin'?
Schoolyard bully, with a fully automatic, heart full of pain and a head, full of havoc
Everybody stepped on the kid, and I'm letting them have it
Havoc, Leaving they momma, to say, "What happened!?
Who gon' buy my baby a casket?" f** that b**h, I'm a ba*tard
[Verse 7: El-P]
Megablast, I'm mega lit, on Highway 6, and I'm not strapped in
I don't crash, b**h, I just skid, you got the cash? I'll make the trip
I make the trip, you better pay, done worse for less, don't make my day
I'm not from Earth, from far away, I bust through chests, like baby greys
[Verse 8: k**er Mike]
Runnin' the j**els of the game, whippin' the mix is, like chickens of 'caine
Spittin' the sentence again, parents is livid again, kids is just f**in' insane
Pointin' that pistol and fist, for the chain, reppin' the symbol, like they in a gang
Delivery dope, like a dosage of dope, or a noseful of coke, for a junkie, or fiend
[Hook 2: k**er Mike (Justin)]
(God, I promise I will never hang out with the Run the Jewels again! El-P, what the f** did you do to my drake
Don't cry
(Why is f**ing cats screaming at me?!)
Oh my
(STOP!)
Don't cry
(What the fu*k do you mean, "Don't cry?!")