You can't truthfully
Be anything you want to be
Conditions apply
To most of us
If you really
Insist on being a somebody
Why don't you try to be Jesus
We'd all like to be
A venerated VIP
Why not try something
Far less ambitious
It's easy and free
And you don't have to be no deity
Why not just try to be Jesus
You can't be a religious leader if your female
You can't be in the lucky country if your skin ain't pale
You can't be educated if you don't pay fees
You can't be celebrity rated if your ugly
You can't be popular if your original
You cant be a corporate climber if you like people
Your chances are looking sorta rough
But being Jesus well that's easy stuff
He'd never make
The thin review of who's who
He was just helpin' folks
Never made much fuss
Do something good
When there's nothing in it for you
Maybe you might just be Jesus
Who needs religion be Jesus
Dont be a Christian be Jesus