(Breaking up scenes and bad food go together so well, don't they? Thanks to Jonathan and Darlene Edwards for the inspiration.) In a Mexican restaurant I waited for you For an hour I waited and anticipated A fabulous dinner for two You suggested a booth in the dark "How romantic," I thought "I'm sorry," you told me, then looked at me coldly Thank heaven the salsa was hot "Well how 'bout a drink?" you asked I said, "That would be fine" Then I said, "Cut the drama" As the band played "La Bamba" For the seventeenth time And the mariachis played And the plastic palm trees swayed And the turquoise statue of Mary was turning to blue You were trashing our relationship As I choked on a nacho chip You told me I'd have to get used to a life without you Then the waiter came over to us With co*ktails for two And all I could think as he set down my drink Was that I'd like to dump it on you You proceeded to twist the knife Or that's how it seemed As I sipped my gazpacho You said, "You're not macho enough For the man of my dreams" What the hell was I doing there With my heart on my sleeve?
He was being so rude But right then the food came and I couldn't leave And the mariachis played And the plastic palm trees swayed And the turquoise statue of Mary was turning to blue You were slashing our relationship With each Marguerita sip But I couldn't begin to imagine a life without you We ate dinner in silence then And I felt like a wreck Then halfway through my enchilada I got the bravado to ask for the check "Well I think I should leave," said I "I don't want any scenes It's too late for questions, I've got indigestion And not just from eating the beans" "What did you expect," I said "Yes, of course I am hurt No, don't try to console me You've got guacamole all over your shirt" And the mariachis played And the plastic palm trees swayed And the turquoise statue of Mary was turning to blue Cashing in our relationship I felt a smile return to my lips And I saw a new life before me, a life without you Then I pushed away my tortilla Got up and said, "Guess I'll see ya" 'Cause I saw a new life that was free'a A life without you