(crackle crackle
pop pop)
Welcome to Earth, home of the great women and men.
We are animals that have ideas.
Maybe cats and ravens have ideas too, but they keep them to themselves.
Travellers from the whole galaxy throng to our luscious planet with its evolution-friendly climate and nourishing minerals.
Take time to locate the exit nearest you.
Press 1 for Famine, 2 for Pestilence, 3 for Condoleeza, and 4 for d**h.
Please note that Pestilence closes at six.
("Okay, that's it.""Okay.")