There was a caravan man with the ultimate tan
O', he rode anywhere from Delaware to Iran
No, The Caravan Man, he never made no stops
‘Cause he had many guns that he trusted to pop
He had an Uzi, and a Glockie, and a Deagle, and fifty
O', The Caravan Man, he never stopped for no bitty
No one ever dared to go and send some shots at his fitted
‘Cause if they ever did you know he'd send it back like it's rented
O' some bandits tried to stop the caravan one day
They said, “Stop, don't make a ruckus; let us take ya money!”
Now Caravan Man has never been afraid of gunplay
But the bandits was prepared to make today a fun day
So Caravan pulled the tooley, said “'Scuse me”
And all the women started swooning, ‘cause his choice was the Uzi
O', when he popped off his clip, all the bandits looked goofy
‘Cause Caravan Man was finna whip up a smoothie!
Now, George and George pulled out the AR-15
All the remainin' bandits, you can bet they started to scream
Now this is Grade Ten, so I really can't say bleed
But Caravan Man made sure he was the last they could see!
Caravan Man went to the saloon, to the bar
He was lookin' for a woman, who couldn't have went mighty far
Caravan Woman's been dodging him from his left to his right
He's been lookin' for his wife his whole roamin' life!
Now the Barman's name was Ethaniel Bradberry
And he suggested Mr. Caravan just stop and remarry
Caravan Woman wasn't seen since last November, but
That caravan booty barman seemed to remember!
The barman said that the girl and him were engaged
So caravan man should stop and maybe find a new maid
Now caravan man knew that this weren't true!
He never met a problem where his gun couldn't pop off and shoot!
But Caravan Man stopped and said “Just please, let me see her!”
And the barman said
“Man is ya smokin' khaleefer?”
Then a scream rung out from the attic or roof
It said, Caravan Man, please get ready to shoot!"
Now the Outlaws rushed in from the doors and the windows
And the whole saloon looked like a game from Nintendo
Caravan Man reached onto his back for the fifty
We can't get too graphic, but they looked like noodles and chitlins
The barman fell to his knees and he pleaded and begged
“Mr. Caravan, please don't say you're out for my head,”
He looked in the tied-up Caravan Woman's direction
And he said
“Ya better get to running ‘fore I chamber my weapon."