[Waiter]
No, please no
Not tonight, please no
Mister, can't you go?
Not tonight, can't have a scene
[Roger]
What?!
[Waiter]
Go, please go you- hello sir!
I said no, important customer!
[Mark]
What am I, just a blur?
[Waiter]
You sit all night, you never buy
[Mark]
That's a lie, that's a lie!
I had a tea the other day
[Waiter]
You couldn't pay!
[Mark]
Oh yeah...
[Collins]
Benjamin Coffin the Third? Here?
[Waiter]
Oh no...
[Company]
Wine and beer!
[Maureen]
The enemy of Avenue A
We'll stay
[Waiter]
Oy vey!
[Collins]
What brings a mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?
[Benny]
I would like to propose a toast
To Maureen's noble try
It went well-
[Maureen]
Go to hell!
[Benny]
Was the yuppie scum stomped?
Not counting the homeless
How many tickets weren't comped?
[Roger]
Why did Muffy-
[Benny]
Alison!
[Roger]
-miss the show?
[Benny]
There was a d**h in the family, if you must know
[Angel]
Who died?
[Benny]
Our Akita-
[Company]
Evita!
[Benny]
Mimi, I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
Who don't adhere to deals
They make fun- yet I am the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia
Is a fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta;
Bohemia is dead
[Mark]
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes
[Company]
Dies irae - dies illa, Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v'yitkadash
[Mark]
Here she lies, no one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
On this night when we
Celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our gla** - you bet your a** to -
La vie Boheme!
[Company]
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
[Mark]
To days of inspiration
Playing hooky
Making something out of nothing
The need to express
To communicate
To going against the grain
Going insane
Going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension
To starving for attention
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course
Hating dear old mom and dad
To riding your bike
Midday past the three-piece suits
To fruits- to no absolutes-
To Absolut- to choice-
To the Village Voice-
To any pa**ing fad
To being an us for once... instead of a them!
[Company]
La vie Boheme!
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
[Maureen]
Is the equipment in a pyramid?
[Joanne]
It is, Maureen
[Maureen]
The mixer doesn't have a case-
Don't give me that face!
[Mr. Grey]
Ahem...
[Maureen]
Hey mister!
She's my sister
[Waiter]
So that's five miso soup
Four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner
Two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls?
[Bohemian]
Ew!
[Collins]
It tastes the same
[Mimi]
If you close your eyes
[Waiter]
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?
[Company]
Wine and beer!
To handcrafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt
To rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dil*os
To curry Vindaloo
To Huevos Rancheros
And Maya Angelou
Emotion, devotion
To causing a commotion
Creation, vacation
Mucho masturbation
Compa**ion to pa**ion
To fashion when it's new
To Sontag, to Sondheim
To anything taboo
Ginsberg, Dylan
Cunningham, and Cage!
[Collins]
Lenny Bruce!
[Roger]
Langston Hughes!
[Maureen]
To the stage!
[Company]
To Uta
To Buddha
Pablo Neruda, too!
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em!
La vie Boheme!
[Collins]
In honor of the d**h of bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner...
Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of ice tea being stirred!
[Roger]
And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to make a connection on the high holy days!
[Mark]
And Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one night engagement at the Eleventh Street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she has never studied!
[Benny]
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?
[Mimi]
There's nothing to know
[Benny]
Don't you think that we should discuss-
[Mimi]
It was three months ago
[Benny]
He doesn't act like he's with you
[Mimi]
We're taking it slow
[Benny]
Where is he now?
[Mimi]
He's right- hmm...
[Benny]
Uh-huh
[Mimi]
Where'd he go?
[Mark]
Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, provocative song...
That doesn't remind us of Musetta's Waltz
[Collins]
Angel Dumott Schunard will model in the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub!
[Angel]
And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist - including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. Virtual Reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words:
[Company]
Actual reality - Act up - Fight AIDS!
[Benny]
CHECK!
[Mimi]
Excuse me, did I do something wrong?
I get invited, then ignored, all night long
[Roger]
I've been trying, I'm not lying
No one's perfect, I've got baggage
[Mimi]
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
[Roger]
I should tell you-
[Mimi]
I've got baggage too
[Roger]
Should tell you-
[Both Roger and Mimi]
Baggage - wine-
[Company]
And beer!
[Mimi]
AZT break
[Roger]
You?
[Mimi]
Me. You?
[Roger]
Mimi
I should tell you I'm disaster
I forgot how to begin it
[Mimi]
Let's just make this part go faster
I have yet to be in it
I should tell you
[Roger]
I should tell you
[Mimi]
I should tell you
[Roger]
I should tell you
[Mimi]
I should tell I blew the candle out
Just to get back in
[Roger]
I'd forgotten how to smile
Until your candle burned my skin
[Mimi]
I should tell you
[Roger]
I should tell you
[Mimi]
I should tell you
[Both Roger and Mimi]
I should tell...
Well, here we go
Now we-
[Mimi]
Oh no
[Roger]
I know- this something is-
Here goes
[Mimi]
Here goes
[Roger]
Guess so
It's starting to-
Who knows?
[Mimi]
Who knows?
[Both Roger and Mimi]
Who knows where?
Who goes there?
Who knows?
Here goes
Trusting desire starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging a shoulder, a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins
So here we go
Now we
[Roger]
Oh no
[Mimi]
I know
[Roger]
Oh no
[Both Roger and Mimi]
Who knows where, who goes there
Here goes, here goes
Here goes, here goes
Here goes, here goes
[Maureen]
Are we packed?
[Joanne]
Yes, and by next week
I want you to be
[Maureen]
Pookie!
[Joanne]
And you should see
They've padlocked your building
And they're rioting on Avenue B!
Benny called the cops
[Maureen]
That jerk!
[Joanne]
They don't know what they're doing
The cops are sweeping the lot
But no one's leaving
They're just sitting there, mooing!
[Company]
Yeah!
To dance!
[A Girl]
No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection
Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders
[Company]
Film!
[Mark]
Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations
Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze
[Company]
Music!
[Angel]
Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation
Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition
[Company]
Anarchy!
Revolution!
Justice screaming for solutions!
Forcing changes, risk, and danger
Making noise and making pleas!
h*mos, lesbians, crossdressers too
[Maureen]
To me!
[Mark]
To me!
[Collins and Angel]
To me!
[Company]
To you, and you and you and you and you!
To people living with, living with, living with
Not dying from disease
Let he among us, without sin
Be the first to condemn
La vie Boheme!
La vie Boheme!
La vie Boheme!
[Mark]
Anyone out of the mainstream
Is anyone in the mainstream?
Anyone alive with a s** drive!
[Company]
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
[Mark]
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace
It's creation!
[Company]
(cheers)
La vie Boheme!
[Mark]
The riot continues, the Christmas tree goes up in flames, the snow dances
Oblivious, Roger and Mimi share a small, lovely kiss
[Company]
Viva la vie Boheme!