There's a million ways to die inside a Bowser castle! A million ways to fail! You can fall on spikes or drown in some lava Ride skull trains that derail! There's a million ways to die inside a Bowser castle! By Thwomp or Rocky Wrench! Rebounding Koopa shell! A magic spell! A lift that fell! Conveyor belt! A pipe above a Muncher-filled trench! You might get crushed or burned or hit with a fish! You may get squashed or bitten by a Boo! You may be Hammered, bro, or greeted by five hundred Lakitu! You may slip on ice, be shot in the face Or simply sprung off a ledge in mid-jump!
Despite how hard you may try It's sure that you'll die! From blocks and from Bills and a Blooper that flies! That's why a Million ways to die reside in Bowser's Castle! Like saws and fire chains! A walking bomb! A stack of towering Dry Bones! That time you went insane! And every trap you find inside of any Bowser castle Creates a lethal maze! Beware this Super Star, this Koopa Car, this bratty baby Troopa czar! It's quite the fiendish hastle to Survive in Bowser's castle due To every castle's k**ing you a mill-ion ways!