Susan! Your mom's funny Funny as in ha ha funny Or funny as in stark raving mad, Squirrelly weirdo funny? Just funny Roselyn, come and dance with me My mom's too boring to dance around Your mom's normal My mom's boring Come on, ladies Let's get that blood pumping! You wanna know how deep the ocean is, I'll tell ya You wanna know how high the mountains are This ain't a bill of goods or the Brooklyn Bridge I'm tryin' to sell ya I love ya too, too, too high, too much, too far Amy, don't climb on the railin' Susan is Susan's a big girl Susan, come and partner No, Mother Mother likes to dance Can't stop her Mother likes to dance She doesn't care what I think She'd rather go disco and drink She ought to see a good shrink ‘Cause it's embarra**ing Can I try on your sungla**es? Ugh No Some mothers know how to be still How to behave, how to just chill Some mothers know how to stay in line Some mothers don't jitterbug, jump Tango, or waltz, or practice the bump Some mothers are normal, but not mine Susan! Not mine! There's not a star that shines as bright as you Don't doubt it Ya got a smile that's brighter than a star And when ya flash that smile at me I've simply gotta shout it I love ya too, too, too high, too much, too far Mother has to dance
Can't stand it Mother has to dance She doesn't care what I think She doesn't care, not a bit Sometimes I wish I could break her legs Just to get her to sit Some mothers are right in the brain Calm and polite, perfectly sane Yours is, through and through But my mother likes to dance So she'll dance and dance and dance And it's embarra**ing I love ya too, too, too high, too much, too far I'm lost, without a clue There's nothing I can do Except to envy you Phew, now that worked up a thirst Oh, Betty, should you really have another? Why not? Mother likes to drink I hate her Mother likes to drink Besides, it's Amy's dream I thought it was Susan's dream If it were my dream I wouldn't be sailing up and down the Potomac River For hours on end with you guys Don't you like my dream? Amy Carter, I told you to get off that railing I like the presidential yacht It's cool I like being in someone else's dream I don't have to worry about doing something wrong Like in my dreams Billy Beer? No, thank you Can I have one? Sure No, Amy Mom, just sit and read your boring book All right, darlin' Why are we in your dream? Well, I'm not sure why your mom is Ah, freshy fresh Why am I here? You had your high school prom in the White House