Well, here we are. The four of us...
In total shock... Me and her
I close my mouth and swallow spit
As I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deep sh**!"
Then I said "So you're gonna tell me he's the one you've been talking to?"
He says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "It's the truth!"
I said, "All of ya'll a**es crazy, let me up out this door
Because this is way more than I bargained for"
And then she says, "Wait, I'm sure we can all fix this"
And then I said, "I'm late, plus I ain't gotta damn thing to do with this!"
But then she said, "Wouldn't you just like to know how it all began?"
Then I thought to myself, and said, "Quick, you got three minutes"
Then it got real quiet, I said, "Somebody start talking"
Then she said, "My God, Rufus! I've got just one question
How could you do something like this? I'm so hurt!"
Then he looked at her and said, "b**h please, you've got your nerve
With all your club hoppin', lyin' sayin' you was shoppin'
And now here you are in our home, and you're callin' me wrong."
She said, "Okay, you busted me! And that much I agree, you've caught me cheating!
But this is a little extreme!"
He said, "You are my wife sleeping behind my back
And now I come home and you got him in the closet, how extreme is that?!"
She says, "But she's a he!"
Then he said, "Please, you can't judge me"
She says, "But this is crazy!"
Then I said, "Stop arguing!
I did not stay here to hear y'all chew each other out
So get to the point, or I swear I'm out!"
"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here
My name is Chuck and I been knowing Rufus about a year
At midnight creeping around there not staying around to standing living in hell, sleepin in and out of hotels..."
I said, "Brother, spare me the details!"
Then Rufus said, "Chuck, please! Don't say nothing else!"
And then she screams, "Rufus you son of a b**h"
And he says, "Cathy, go to hell!"
I said, "I thought you said your name was Mary, that what you said at the party
Man this is gettin' scary I'm gonna shoot somebody"
Then Rufus start yelling and screaming saying, "Cathy, this is all your fault!"
She throws a pillow at him and says, "You were creeping too, the only difference is you didn't get caught!"
Chuck screamed out, "We're in love!"
Cathy says, "Love my a**!"
Rufus said they're getting married then I shoot one in the air!
Then I said, "Not another one of you sons of b**hes say a word!
Cause all this sh** I'm goin' through is unheard!"
Grabbed my cellular
Said, "This is so wrong,"
Call up my home
And a man picks up the phone phone phone phone.....