Attention, Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen!
Professor Elemental recommends
My lecture, meant for special friends,
Attend my adventure to the very end.
My quest was risky, my role was odd,
I set out for the mystic golden frog!
It was the stuff of legends,
Said to give the bearer a glimpse of Heaven.
Plus, it was quite shiny, so in preparation
First I drew a map from my imagination,
Packed my battenberg and my absinthe, marmoquin
Blunderbuss, and my collapsing magic staff!
Plus a tea-pot and some proper grey,
Stoke the fire, set the bellows,
Come on fellows, chocks away!
AH-HAH! To find the frog...
HEY YOU!
Pack your bags, it's time to trip,
With the good Professor so ride the ship,
Exotic dancer third, then scientist,
Explorer first, so I enlist...
YOU!
Pack your bags, it's time to trip,
With the good Professor so ride the ship,
Exotic dancer third, then scientist,
But explorer first...
Week one:
Crash-landed near Tanzania,
Surrounded by savages in rabbit ears.
Before you could say 'My good man, how queer',
I held aloft my magic spear!
'In the name of the empire, bring me the frog'!
Amazingly, they made me their king or their god,
I didn't think this was odd until we got to the volcano,
Hotter than my stage show, time for me to lay low!
Week two:
I used my string to tie bamboo poles,
A useful thing, I roll in to surf the rising tide,
I feel alive like a viking, time to ride to the ship
In a storm, how exciting!
Let's take to the skies with the power of lightning!
Launch the nets Geoffery!
It's going to be a rough ride...
HEY YOU!
Pack your bags, it's time to trip,
With the good Professor so ride the ship,
Exotic dancer third, then scientist,
Explorer first, so I enlist...
YOU!
Week three:
No closer to finding the frog,
But I had an absinthe party,
With the Munchkins of Oz!
No trouble to come in to land,
For opium, tea and mushrooms in Wonderland
[More tea?]
And this is something grand,
From London to Australia, my cunning plan,
Was completely and utterly unsuccessful,
So I left to go settle back at home with my kettle.
For the rest I need,
You'll never guess what was hiding under the settee!
Yes! It's the frog! Oh, pardon me,
I forgot, I won it in a wager last week!