[Intro, Female sing-song]
I am a pretty little dutch girl
As pretty as pretty can be
And all the boys around my block
Are crazy over me
[MC Paul Barman]
I was walking down the street
Looking at b**bs a**es faces
Went in the salvation army
For some used gla**es cases
Next to the doorway
The cashier in cashmere held up an old map of Norway
She flipped it over and the message read "you're gay"
I looked at her anxiously
Her two lip rings looked like fangs to me
I hope my s**m'll get under your thermal
Underwear, because you're cuter than Nermal
She said "go get a hair cut!"
So I showed her my bare bu*t
Pulled down my Carhartts
Put my moon in her star charts
And to make stupid stupider I slapped a ring on my a**
Said "Now my moon's Jupiter"
[The Black Italiano]
f**ing a**hole
[Male sing-song]
She has a boyfriend Fatty
He comes from Cincinnati
With 48 toes and a pickle on his nose
And this is the way the story goes
[MC Paul Barman]
Clicky clack who's at the rack with the jackets
It's Black Italiano looking black cause he's backlit
[The Black Italiano]
Hey what's up with these f**ing Chinese looking street gang jackets?
[MC Paul Barman]
We started to slow dance, I said no chance for romance
If I have to wear condoms cause they feel like snow pants
But I couldn't stay calm because she
Revealed the bra made of two yarmulkes
I said you're hella great, let's celebrate!
We took the freight elevate-
R to continue our back and forth shagging sports
To the room with the Davenport
Where men become cuckolds
She chuckled
I felt her knuckle above my belt buckle
[Male sing-song]
One day when she was walking
She heard her boyfriend talking
To a little girl with a strawberry curl
And this is what he said to her
[MC Paul Barman]
My pissed off jimbrowski turned three colors like Krzysztof Kieślowski
I said a handjob's a man's job
Yo' job's a blow job
That p**n snob, that corncob with a doorknob
Is a born slob, but not blameless
Every penis wants to be famous
It's a good way to stay misogynistic and aimless
She said "I'm glad you explained that
My name is Jane Pratt
Before you jerk off on my head
Please pa** me that rain hat."
So I did, you know?
What can I say?
I'm a lonely male who won't settle for any phony in a ponytail
[The Black Italiano/Prince Paul]
Come on, bring your woman over here
So I can show her a real Italian man
I got the best of both f**ing worlds here
f**ing black man's dick and an Italian man's brain
[Prince Paul breaks into laughter after being heckled]
f**ing a**holes
[Laughter from the booth]