[Repeat x2]
Please, leave all over coats, canes and top hats with the doorman
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and?
[Repeat x2]
Because, when you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white pin-stripes?
Everything goes according to plan
I am the new cancer, never looked better. You can't stand it
I know because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer? Never looked better
And you can't stand it
Next is a trip to the ladies room in vain
No, you just can't keep up with these fashionistas
Tonight you are the whispering campaign
To them, your name is 'Cheap' and that to them you look like sh**
Talk to the mirror, choke back tears, and keep telling yourself
'I'm a diva'
Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box on table
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin
I am the new cancer, never looked better. You can't stand it
I know because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer? Never looked better
And you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer? I've never looked better
And you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer? I've never looked better
And you can't stand it
[Repeat x3]
And I know, and I know. It just doesn't feel like a night out
With no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch