I awoke this morning twitched the curtain aside
Took a look through the window and let out a sigh
I saw rain fall in buckets over Adamsdown
And thus was I prevented from leaving the house
I was prevented from going to the job centre
So I sat and flicked through the newspaper
They have discovered it seems a shocking truth
We are in the grip of a
'European Monsoon'
I was prevented from buying any fruit and veg
So I ordered a takeaway pizza instead
I was prevented from having my tires checked
So I drove my car into someone's fence
So conveniently prevented by unseasonal weather
I embraced this unseasonal affective disorder
And as a note from my doctor now officially proves
I'm chronically depressed about the
'European Monsoon'
I never knew I could be so absolved from blame
Never knew I could feel so justified in my apathy
I never knew before I had you
I love you 'European Monsoon'
I was prevented from becoming an informed member
Of society by the inclement weather
If I was registered to vote I'd vote BNP
Cos immigrants are why it always rains on me
Whilst I sleep at night under my nation's flag
You could get good odds I couldn't find it on a map
Retrospectively prevented from succeeding in school
Cos I was "too depressed about the
'European Monsoon'"
I was prevented from acheiving all my childhood dreams
Now I'm the poster boy for fake S-A-D
You can see in the pages of my self-help book
How I've constructed an art form from not giving a f**
And if the sun ever returns to chase the blues away
I've become so dependent it could easily remain
An insurmountable barrier to things I don't wanna do
"I'm still depressed about the
'European Monsoon'"