I went out with my umbrella;
It looked a little grim
The sky was black. The air was cold. The day was gray and dim
But as I strolled towards my goal, the sun burst through the clouds
I threw down my umbrella and then I cried out loud
[Chorus]
Oh! The future is the past, that hasn't happened yet
And everybody knows that what you see is what you get
But the movies in your mind is a place you can not find
And if you see ahead, you are missing your behind
I drove out to the airport
I tried not to be late
But I was very nervous as I walked up to the gate
I dreamed I saw an albatross that soared across the sky
And then I heard our plane had crashed and everyone had died
[Chorus]
I learned I had a tumor;
I knew that I would die
I made a will, I took a pill, and prayed to God on high
But when I walked toward the light, I learned the truth at last
I'd been born in my own colon and the world was up my a**
[Chorus]