Mitt Romney
I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts
I'm rich, I've got fat stacks and super PACs
We all know what went down in that 2008 election
You're a decent politician with a winning complexion
You're all Barack and no bite, been no change and we're all still hoping
That you'll shut your mouth but like Guantanamo Bay they're both open
You're from the windy city, where you're looking pretty with your blowhards
But come January, you'll be left evicted and with no job
Raw rhymes stronger than my jawline when I spit a phrase
Knocking you harder than front doors in my old mission days
You see this silver spoon? This dug Ma** out of debt
Took you four years to drop unemployment down below 8%
You feel that Barry? You're old news, everyone's having doubts
And your rhymes are as weak as this economy that you've done nothing about
Call me a vicious business man 'cause Romney's stealing this race
I'll go Bain Capital on your donkey a**, restructure your face
Barack Obama
They say your father was a great man, you must be what's left
Need to stop hatin' on gays, let 'em teach you how to dress
You've got the momma jeans and a Mister Fantastic face
So rich and white, it's like I'm running against a cheesecake
Republicans need a puppet and you fit
Got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt
I'm the head of state, you're like a head of cabbage
'Bout to get smacked by my stimulus package
You're a bad man with no chance, you can't even touch me
I got four more years (Two terms) in the White House, just trust me
I hoped you saved your best rhymes for the second half
'Cause right now, I'm 47% through kicking your a**
Mitt Romney
Whatever, that 40% thing got you real mad
What, did it remind you how many decent parents you had?
Barack Obama
Uh, look, I respect all religions, uh, but it might get crazy
If the White House has a first, second and a third lady
Mitt Romney
Ha, don't bring up wives, man, what are you doing?
You got hitched to the female version of Patrick Ewing
Barack Obama
Uh, let me be clear, uh, don't get it twisted
We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist has kissed it
Mitt Romney: Uh, you're a stuttering communist
Barack Obama: Oh yeah? Well you're stupid
Mitt Romney: You're stupid!
Barack Obama: Nuh-uh
Mitt Romney: Urgh
Barack Obama: Urgh
Abraham Lincoln
By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird
The President shall not be the shiniest of two turds
You, I wanna like you, don't talk about change, just do it
I fought for what was on my brain until a bullet went through it
And you, moneybags, you're a pancake, you're flip-floppity
It's a country, not a company you can play like Monopoly
I'll properly reach across the aisle and b**h smack you as equals
Of the people, by the people, for the people, eagle