If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems, but a b**h ain't oneI got the Rap Patrol on the gat patrol Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed Rap critics that say he's 'Money, Cash, Hoes' I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those?If you grew up with holes in your zapper toes You'd celebrate the minute you was havin' dough I'm like f** critics, you can kiss my whole a**hole If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forwardGot beef with radio if I don't play they show They don't play my hits, well I don't give a sh**, so Rap mags try and use my black a** So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, f**ersI don't know what you take me as Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has I'm from, rags to riches, n***as I ain't dumb I got 99 problems, but a b**h ain't one, hit me99 problems but a b**h ain't one If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems, but a b**h ain't one, hit meThe year is ninety-four, in my trunk is raw In my rear view mirror is the motherf**in' law Got two choices y'all, pull over the car or Bounce on the Devil, put the pedal to the floorAnd I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jake Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case So I pull over to the side of the road Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?'Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low Or do I look like a mind reader sir? I don't know Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'? Well you was doin fifty-five in the fifty-fourLicense and registration and step out of the car Are you carryin' a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are I ain't steppin' out of sh**, all my papers legit Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that
Aren't you sharp as a tack, you should try out For lawyer or somethin', somebody important or somethin'Child I ain't pa**ed the bar, but I know a little bit Enough that you won't illegally search my sh** Well we'll see how smart you are when the canine comes I got 99 problems, but a b**h ain't one, hit me99 problems but a b**h ain't one If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems, but a b**h ain't one, hit me99 problems but a b**h ain't one If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems, but a b**h ain't one, hit meNow once upon a time, not too long ago A n***a like myself had to strong arm a hoe This is not a hoe in the sense of havin' a p**y But a p**y havin' no goddamn sense, try an' push meI try to ignore him, talk to the Lord Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform You know the type, loud as a motorbike But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fightAnd only thing that's gon' happen is I'ma get to clappin' and He and his boys gon' be yappin' to the Captain And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again Back through the system with the riff-raff againFiends on the floor, scratchin' again Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin' them D.A. try to give a n***a shaft again Half a mill' for bail 'cause I'm African*ll because this fool was hara**in' them Tryin' to play the boy like he's saccharin' But ain't nuttin' sweet 'bout how I hold my gun I got 99 problems B and a b**h ain't one, hit me99 problems but a b**h ain't one If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems, but a b**h ain't one, hit me99 problems but a b**h ain't one If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems, but a b**h ain't one, hit meHavin' girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems and a b**h ain't one, ha ha You crazy for this one Rick, it's your boy