[JONAH]
Reptilicus is silly, but he really illustrates
The great array of monsters all over the place
Not just in Japan, but across the planet
An "A-to-Z" gamut—a gargantuan panoply
[TOM]
Example, please?
[JONAH]
Well, name a land
[TOM]
Belize
[JONAH]
Oh, geez; easy peasy, mes amis
See, in the Yucatan you can meet El Cadejo
In Belize they believe in him
They're not afraid to say so
[TOM]
Scotland?
[JONAH]
Nessie's livin' up in a loch
[TOM]
How 'bout Poland?
[JONAH]
A scary scarecrow named Bubak
[CROW]
Huh; so...it's not just Godzilla?
[TOM]
Well, duh, Crow; there's a lot that could k** ya'
[CROW]
Hey!
[JONAH]
Tom...
[TOM]
Sorry, Crow
[CROW]
Okay
[TOM]
Bros?
[CROW]
Sho
[TOM]
Yo, Jonah, how's the chorus go?
[JONAH]
Every country has a monster
They're afraid of in their nation
[JONAH, TOM AND CROW]
Every monster has a country
Yeah, a station they call their home
[CROW]
Gunter, glieben, glauchen, Crow-ben
[TOM]
What turned the musk deer's guts to spaghetti?
[JONAH]
Was it in Tibet?
[TOM]
Yep
[JONAH]
I bet he met a yeti
[CROW]
Australia?
[JONAH]
There, drop bears will impale ya
[TOM]
Then they'll sell ya hella-touristy paraphernalia
[JONAH]
Chupacabra's chewin' up cattle down in Mexico
Déélgééd's horn is gorein', battling the Navajo
Congo's kongamato is a mongo flying dino
I know I don't want to die
But when I do, he'll be the guy
[TOM/CROW]
Whoa!
[TOM]
So, Crow?
[CROW]
Servo?
[TOM]
Ready to go?
[CROW]
Start slow
[TOM]
Kropermann is a monster from Luxembourg
[CROW]
Who's actually the size of Luxembourg
[TOM]
He crushed the whole country of Luxembourg
[BOTH]
Because he is the size of Luxembourg
[JONAH]
What?!?
[CROW]
Egypt's got mummies like Tutankhamun
[TOM]
Leprechaun on the lawn in Boston Common
[JONAH]
You bots got the hang of it
The song's really kickin'
[ALL]
CHICKITY-CHINA, THE CHINESE CHICKEN!
[JONAH]
(spoken)
And by that I mean Jiufeng and Peng, giant Chinese birds, and one of them turns into a fish. Anyway...
(sung)
Gnus, k**er shrews and the loup-garou
Baba Yaga, Jorōgumo and the impundulu
Now you guys realize the surprising size
Of all the worldwide daikaiju
[ALL]
Every country has a monster
They're afraid of in their nation
Every monster
[GYPSY]
(Sasquatch!)
[ALL]
Has a country
[JONAH]
(That's Canada!)
[ALL]
Yeah, a station they call their home
[TOM]
(Tatzelwurm for the Swiss!)
[ALL]
Every country
[CROW]
(Scandinavia!)
[ALL]
Has a monster
[JONAH]
(Kraken!)
[ALL]
They're afraid of
[TOM]
(Kinga!)
[ALL]
In their nation
(Moon 13!)
Every monster has a country
Yeah, we've got movie sign