Verse 1:
I used to watch my television when I was a younger lad
Before the days they had reality shows with the ugly chavs
The days when they hardly had the promiscuity
'Cause nowadays, in this time, it ain't what it used to be
We got comedy demoralising Christianity
They're trying to bash the priest, but they're sounding wack and weak
I flip-flip the channels, but there's nothing for my liking
Films are wack as well, it's just some s** and violent fighting
Watching the people live in the Big Brother house is not exciting
Distasteful, vile racism is what they're inciting
Can't waste your time seeing the idiots being dipsticks
I can't see the news for seconds, never mind minutes
All I'm hearing about on news reports is raping, decapitating
And messed up women that are loving their penetrating
Their lovely little fake war on terror they've been making
The days when the TV was likable is ancient
Chorus:
Nothing on-the-on-the TV anymore
Nothing on-the-on-the TV anymore
There's nothing on-the-the TV anymore
When I flip-flip the channels, I just snore
Verse 2:
We need that funky, fabulous, fantastic, fancy rhythm
I'm ripping it rhythmically with the unrivalled rhymes I've written
The programs today are based on teen s**, I'd rather
Hop back in a time machine and watch The Demon Headmaster
Missed the days when they had the parties of that Noel Edmonds
The old Queens Nose, Finders Keepers, Avenger Penguins
The bygone days of CITV, I love to teach
Can't compare Hollyoaks to something like Sunset Beach
The difference with music, back then it was actually interesting
How many hip-hoppers did you see with the j**ellery glistening?
None, that's why it was fun
Real rap was to express yourself rather than talk about how many women you done
On Bravo, they now want to promote suicide
Just 'cause the currency is weak don't mean you must pervert our minds
Playdays is undoubtedly more entertaining
Those days when the TV was likable is ancient
Chorus:
Nothing on-the-on-the TV anymore
Nothing on-the-on-the TV anymore
There's nothing on-the-on-the TV anymore
When I flip-flip the channels, I just snore