[Hook 1] This culture like some vultures with the things that we see fit If my phone not workin or twitter ain't loadin then I'm gonna be pissed And I'm working all night, new game of thrones will be missed And I ain't at home but I gotta sh** in a bathroom that's public (f** that) How do I live with football not in season? And all the money I spent on starbucks should be charged as treason My days s** cause I'm allergic to pollen Looks like we got a case of the 1st world problems [Verse 1] Oh man god damn maz dog trapped in the woods again What a guy gotta do to get service This microsoft phone boutta meet the surface Yeah get in my car Gas on E like we takin bars Lets see mazzy do we got enough gas and money to get guacomole at chipolte? What the hell is that Payin more just to be fat And the lines out the door I'll take a detour And go eat at in n out burger Look in the mirror that a clog in my pore? My proactiv package comin at 4 But I'm breaking out, how am I gonna score When my face look like a chewed apple core Gettin kinda pissed, should get rid of this fuse So i'm headin to the gym but My favorite treadmill is already bein' used Now I'm in the weightroom my homie I met Sittin on the peck deck Seat covered in sweat Ask the manager you clean this place? He tried to surmise I could tell he lied Can barely breath need a paper bag I thought it was a gym not a f**in' six flags Then I bit my lip, it was just the tip But a canker sore gonna make me flip So I dip back home loggin on google chrome Spotify playin ads before the songs Dude, just play some U2 I don't want premium get a clue [Hook 2] So inconvenient on my back I got an itch Don't talk to me if subway messed up my sandwich Walkin outside got dirt up on my sperrys And I'm tryna work out but the gym is closes 30 My internet is down I can't torrent Borat And I hate so much bein lactose intolerant Havin' s** ain't as good with a condom on We all just blessed with these 1st world problems [Verse 2] Uh oh sh**, my clothes are still just a little bit wet Had em in the dryer for a 45 minutes But they come out wet and my time on a limit Let's just spin it check tinder No matches within the border Area is clean No scene Of girls with them big titties like lucy pinder Bakin' a pizza made in ibiza Sippin on a wine bag form franzia Sausage fresh out the oven but the cheese been cookin Burn the roof of my mouth Wasn't lookin' I'm handicapped so f** this pizza Teeth clamped down but I'm cravin some greasin' Dial Dominoes, 24 never ceasin' But wait, it's 3 am In the middle of the night The phone rings light and fades to night And the greeting message affirms my fright
So my morning rough Gotta wake up and do all this work stuff Headin' downstairs breakfast see whats makin' Pantry door for some frosted flakin Reilly excited for shake and bakin' Open the box but the b**h is fakin' This cereal imperial I'm bout to need some clinical psychological therapy If I can't get my morning coffee No deep breathing can stop me I'm crazy as pac man who can't get pinky Grindin my gears like pretty ricky I'm goin down momar ghadafi [Hook 3] How can I shower when I lost my louffa And the remote is stuck in the cushions between the sofa My girlfriend broke up with me after 2 months Feelin hollow, drown my sorrows in dunkin donuts Comfy on the couch but I wanna go to bed Walking all the way up the stairs sounds like a trek I couldn't get spain so I'll study abroad in scotland (i guess) Our attitudes are plagued by these 1st world problems [Verse 3] Now I'm goin outside to go to my job But its cold out here with a layer of fog And my throat be sore like I swallowed a frog AC don't work what am I a sled dog Mobbin fast maz dog an outlaw Checkin both ways Ballhawkin for cops I'm general zod adhere to my Wait I just got cut off by a grandmama Move over lady Or imma get crazy Late again to work And my boss think i'm lazy To the bank I go to get a credit card But they closed sunday with no regard Ain't this the worst my morning is cursed Sugar hangover too I'm about to starburst Man life is hard for a guy like me Daddy won't buy me a jeep grand cherokee I'll be single forever no relationship Only girlfriend gon be a chocolate chip In cookie form maybe add some p**n A pic of hannah storm And I'm feelin reborn Check my phone low battery And a hot chick just snapped me But I only get 1 replay The most stressful thing thats always lingering Is what show to watch when I'm netflixing Do I start archer Suits Or puss in boots The video paused after I choose roots Blacked out last night I forgot a few things There's a half eaten pizza and a few chicken wings That's not the worst thing my phone on the ring I was drunk texting at f**in burger king My head on fire like bruce springsteen Medicine cabinet ain't got ibuprofen Godamn [Hook 4] Losing a game in Madden will have me in dismay My birthday is on Christmas Eve and this year it's Thursday I can't smoke a stogie cause I got a broken lighter And I've been waiting all night for my Uber driver I cut myself shaving, my luck is just absurd And not again I forgot my facebook pa**word Stubbed my toe and my whole day is solemn Let's please stop worryin bout our first world problems