First of all we must establish contact I've no thirst for fame or a lavish contract I'm a chappie with a sunny disposition, with a taste for fine wine or a funny expedition To the club of Lorbodello with a sweet tobacco smello I can taste it as we speak, it stays with me for weeks! The simple things in life come when I paid for all my Geep But when some others take a peek they form a clique It takes a squeaking off their wish to see me fall The greatest chap-pop-star of all! But the weaknesses of some can leave them rather overcome And then their jealousy's can rather stop them from keeping mum So they bleat all their grievances up and down the avenue! And replete with my reposte to keep me from grabbing you By your lapels I've no need to haze for my life is amazing and here, my dear, is the news: The world's my nicknackatory It's so frightfully clean Yours is another story It's really rather mean The world's my nicknackatory It's so frightfully wrong You may bathe in my glory And maybe we'll be chums The draws that someone hears as one's stock grows more Is the cross one has to bare in a frightful bore The world is my toyshop It makes your ploy stop A place of joy, got a Japanese robot In a bow tie to serve me tea Biscuits, cake, and Sherry
The very thought of employment Thwarts my enjoyment Of port so I deploy some more booze Remain buoyant!!! I demand booze and I demand cake!! But always to share, as I care for the chums that I make In the wake of the chap hop wars I recline in a fine pair of tweed plus fours I cannot Whose ganders I get up, I'm set up for life Like my grill has more might than the knife The strife and they say has caused me Bore's me blue! Let them eat cake, and let me eat it too! The world's my nicknackatory It's so frightfully clean Yours is another story It's really rather mean The world's my nicknackatory It's so frightfully wrong You may bathe in my glory And maybe we'll be chums All the haters And their maters Throw your hands up at me All the waiters Bring their plates and try not to upset me If the news can't take a tweak Or you find my world too bleak; Then get back to your bitter pit because I've turned the other cheek! The world's my nicknackatory It's so frightfully clean Yours is another story It's really rather mean The world's my nicknackatory It's so frightfully wrong You may bathe in my glory And maybe we'll be chums Biscuits Biscuits Biscuits Cake Cake Cake and Sherry Cake Cake Cake and Sherry