Attention! Bridges! Sharkey! Nuttley! Jackson! Thompson!-Master! Well as you can see We've gotta a new recruit To this land of hope and glory Hand behind backs and legs apart And tell us all your unfortunate story Who me sir?-Yes you sir I was an innocent man Till someone gra**ed me of a plan Of earning some big money I hadn't mouthed it about I am sure without doubt I'd of missed this land of hope and glory Well you poor poor sod Here up sharp at six thirty A cold shower down to breakfast Can't have you looking dirty I suggest you eat what's given you Even if it doesn't agree with you Because it's all you'll be getting Up until twelve thirty! In between this time You stay up in your room And you can dream Of how life could have been
Two years of my teenage life Given to this stand to attention life Of land of hope and glory I'm gettin' so bored as time goes by I think I'll do something dirty I'll pick at the floor for juicy bu*ts And make meself a smoke A bog roll an envelope stick it All this helps to pa** my time As the evening drags on you can watch a little telly Hot Gossip Pans People with their little bit of belly Porridge served cold with a hint of yesterdays Don't complain learn the game and I'll get through Another day I watch the hand on the clock At long last it's nine thirty Off to bed straight to sleep As I leave this land of hope and glory But only for a few seconds am I in ecstasy Before the bell rings to let me know Sharp at six thirty Come on you lot! come on!