[Verse 1: Macklemore]
I woke up, threw some sweat pants on
Then I fed my cat and I walked to the mini mart
And I really want a donut, shouldn't get a donut
Bought a donut, f** it man it's really hard
Supposed to be on a diet, I wanna be like Ryan
He lost thirty pounds on that paleo
But f** it man I love fried sh**
I was gonna get skinny for the summer
I was gonna start doing my crunches
But looking down at my stomach
I'm a go to the beach, but I'm not taking my shirt off in public
My girl shaped like a bottle of Coke
Me? I'm shaped like a bottle of nope
I'd like to order a hot dog, some bon bons
A large soda, and some tacos to go
[Interlude: Macklemore]
I never knew what a carbohydrate was
Turns out that it's all the snacks I love
[Verse 2: Macklemore]
I wanna be like Hugh Jackman, you know jacked man
With a really huge package
I wanna be the 2015 Batman
And send Ben Affleck packing
If you ain't gonna treat Jennifer Garner right
You don't deserve to have that
You better pa** that to the homie Matt Damon
He eat the booty like Pac Man
[Chorus: Xperience]
You know I feel good about this place
You know I feel good about this steak
You know I feel good about this shake
You know I feel good about these plates
You know I feel good about these crepes
You know I feel good about this cake
You know I just love how it tastes
I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no
[Verse 3: Macklemore]
Happy New Years
Everybody got a resolution
But the next day, we forget about it never do 'em
I went to the gym and got a membership
Five minutes on the treadmill and I never lift
That was four years ago I should probably cancel this
But they tell me I gotta do it in person, ain't that a b**h?
But tomorrow though, I'm a get fit
Get me a fuel band and a fit-bit
Get me some workout shoes, and a bench press
Some mulu lemons and a french press
I'm a finally focus do some private yoga
Exercise my shoulders, I'm a hide the donuts
Realign my posture, no time for sofas
I'm finally sober no lime Coronas
But again, that's tomorrow
And today man I gotta go big cause it's my last day
Before I lose that weight, I gotta get one last plate and go big
I ate all night, Kool-Aid on ice
I woke up and I felt like sh**
And I said, "you know what, man f** it
I should probably start on Monday instead"
Motherf**er let's eat
[Chorus: Xperience]
You know I feel good about this place
You know I feel good about this steak
You know I feel good about this shake
You know I feel good about these plates
You know I feel good about these crepes
You know I feel good about this cake
You know I just love how it tastes
I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no