I got a buer that works in Dillons in the back of me Vauxhall Viva
She had ma**ive melons and I wanted bang her beaver
She had real bad breath and a touch of the pox
But I ripped off her bags and her sweaty socks
And I Rattled my 'tatoes against her dirt box
Spread your legs and get your knickers down
Spread your legs and don't make a sound
I'm God's gift to women in this f*ckin' town
So spread your legs and get your knickers down
She said I was good looking
And I looked a bit like George Michael
But she didn't want a f*ckin' she were on her menstrual cycle
So I gives her a lift down to Sandbats
She after some grub, she were on the cadge
So I got some meat and stuffed it up her vag
Spread your legs and get your knickers down
Spread your legs and don't make a sound
I'm God's gift to women in this f*ckin' town
So spread your legs and get your knickers down
It were a messy job, but I kept my shirt on
A penny round collar that I got from Burton's
And I got a good taste of her Bird's Eye big curtains....
Spread your legs and get your knickers down
Spread your legs and don't make a sound
I'm God's gift to women in this f*ckin' town
So spread your legs and get your knickers down
(Repeat