I was busy groping on my floor, some git comes knocking on my door
There's a pack of ba*tards queuing up outside
No, I don't think that God's amazing. No, I don't want no double glazing
I'm just trying to get between this woman's thighs
'Do you want some life assurance?' 'Do you want some car insurance?'
fu*k off, twat, I'm trying to have a poke
'God's sent me on this mission' 'Sign the animal cruelty petition,'
I think beagles should be forced to smoke
I believe in animal testing, (yip!) that's a dog
I don't want cladding or insulation in me fu*king loft
Don't want to help the poor at Christmas, I'm too busy in this bird's knickers
I got my airgun out for the Hari Krishnas
Some old biddy's saving dogs, so I pushed a flame thrower through the letter box
fu*k off granny, or you'll gеt what the mormons got. I fried that ba*tard to a cinder
Pourеd piss on the vicar out of the bedroom window
The Animal Rights got their leaflets up their arse
I believe in animal testing (meeow!) that's a cat
I don't want to buy any carpet cleaner, yes, I know the dog's just shat
I'm quite happy with these stains, I wired the doorbell to the mains
Now Macc's got no MP, isn't that a shame?
Got back to sorting this girl out, 'What was it you came round about?'
She's collecting for the church's gerbil fund
Now that seems like a worthy cause, so she got down on all fours
'I'd like to make a contribution to your c*nt.'
I believe in animal testing (ooh!) that's a bird
If the panda's dying out, I couldn't give a turd
Don't want to know about politics, I'd rather scrape the cheddar off my dick
And save the smelly bits for Jehovah's Witnesses