Soggies s**
I was sitting up at night
I was feeling so uptight
I was just f**ing around
There was something dragging me down
Thinking of a bite to eat
Thought this would be really neat
Cheerios are stale that's beat
But Captain Crunch is fun to eat
Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch
He's inviting you to munch
Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch
Munch a bunch a munch a munch
f** my brain
Scoffing down this yellow wheat
Is making me feel kind of beat
My head is spinning round and round
Now my teeth are turning brown
My face is starting to come apart
From this overdose of starch
I really wish mom wasn't here
I'll have another box of beer
Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch
He's inviting you to munch
Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch
Munch a bunch a munch a munch