[Verse 1 - Lil Dicky:]
Iight, I'm blowing on that sticky sh**
Everybody's talking, b**hes stalking, quick as Lawson
When I'm walking to the gym and sh**
Everybody wanna get involved with the Dicky kid
I don't even know the deal y'all, I'm just k**ing sh**
I ball like I'm playin the wii
Hit up all da ATMS, I been paying the fees
Being gay about the stems, Dicky weighing the weed
And now these labels on a cleanse, got em saying
We need j**s, oh the dude the scoop boos,
Boozing stupid and he rap bruising tunes amusing students
I'm the truth dude
Put some funny sh** up on youtube
Now these maf**as spitting looking sh**ty as doo doo
Who knew, ya dude got a lot to do
I don't fill them b**hes up, but the lobster do
Plus she licking on my nut like it's pasta too
And now that Dicky blowing up all these b**hes so compliant
These days dicky gotta cover up his privates
Bathroom pissing brothas buzzing on some spy sh**
Man, I wish that my dick was a little bigger
Because I'm in a pickle for riddles about ma pickle
Being minimal, criminally abysmal and literally
Women I'm hitting is cognizant of every centimetre
And I'm meeting b**hes who seem to be f**ing Derek jeter's
Every weekend, very freaky, don't know what I'm doing to em
These b**hes do the type of sh** chicks in p**n doing
Bathroom beating on my dick, right before I do 'em
Man that's my only chance, ya know
I'm handsome though
I gotcha lady dancing bro
[Hook:]
Man ever since I came up in this motherf**er sh** been changed
Every rapper getting madder 'bout the funny sh** I'm saying
They be trapping, I be napping, steady crapping on the game
And like a rabbit out the hat I'm doing magic with the flames man
[Verse 2 - Lil Dicky:]
Better stop comparing me to Andy Milanokis
Andy Samberg, Adam Sandler, man I swear it's so obnoxious
I don't care about the rarity of care-free song topics
The hilarity and parody is not what's got you noddin when I write
On the mic spit, nothing like a white kid
Black b**hes even f**ing with me cause I'm nice with
Raps, booty big as sh**, I'm in it but she quite thick
Crap, from this angle I can barely fit the pipe tip
Like da the white man bright, and me don't bite
And me won't fight, me done watch da dark knight with a cold sprite
And me so kike, kite runner up on da cold night
And me done scrub de body with ton of the old spice
[Interlude]
[Verse 3:]
But f** it
My buddy got a crib Nantucket
And everybody here with a b**h straight f**ing
And everybody here know the kid stay bumpin'
My YouTube, Smith up on the Knicks, they subbing... aww.
I just checked up in yo b**h's p**y up on 4square
Mini golfing oh so often you woulda swore I toured there
Break 'em off up in my office you know I record in there,
It's boring there so f** it
I been caking, don't mistake me for some rapper you hating
I'm actually making the hottest f**ing tracks in the nation
Like Satan somehow created some elaborate gymnasium
Packing bowls in stadiums, came from packing the bowl in basements
Name a rapper in the game, spit a flame like you boy can
Everybody know I got it made like a boyband
Everybody know I'm getting laid like a Troy fan
I stay with Trojans on ma sh**, ya dig?
[Hook]