Phone conversation:
Manager: I was thinking like we just, all get together, in between now and when we it out and just all get pissed in Holloway and just like have a cypher in the booth and just record it and then just like mash up a couple of like, you know like minute and a half pieces and bits of cyphering, and then that's like exclusive freestyle sh** cause the kids love that
Dirty Dike: yeah yeah yeah. that sounds good
Manager: and then that's, that's 500 quid
Dirty Dike: sh** son
Manager: Basically, Guaranteed no brainer
Dirty Dike: We could just spend that on strawberry daiquiris and mopeds
Manager: ..exactly thts booze money
Dirty Dike: ehehe. I'm rentin' a moped. Deff. we've Got'a get some motorbikes
Manager: sh**, the last time I was in a moped I was like "weeewrereeeeeeggghh waaaahhhh"
-- Dirty Dike --
Yeah
Uh
It's all..It's all distorted..
And its awkward
I stab an orphan
With an orchid
And pork sword it
Then I feed it to a swordfish
Awesome sh**
Shaving a pasty
I'm raping David Blaine with an ashtray
He's like, "Please stop it"
He's Wallace and she's Gromit
Bangin' on the moon, Strangle a baboon
Kick him in the fanny then I bang it with a broom
I'm in lesbian prison
Dying on my own, Cryin' at the throne
Violent with the bone
Pull the bone off and snap if in half
I'm just havin' a laugh
Are we ready?
Are we ready? r-r--r-ready?
I'm just havin' a laugh
Are we ready?
R-r-ready
I I I I I-I'm just havin a laugh
These years are gold years
I won't ever be rich
f** a life i'ma live mine whatever it is
I'll get in a whip
And drive like a hedonist prick
Forgettin' I'm pissed and high not to mention the sniff
I never question what I got in my brain
I'm not afraid
I'm the most honest nov in the game
With a gob like a drain
I'm obnoxious and lazy
And still gettin' props in a cotch full of ladies, Baby
And I ain't gonna play unless you pay me
And make me a shake eggs bacon or baked beans
Never catchin' feelings actin' weak and all emotional
I simply catch a beat when I'm erratic and I vocal all
Sociable
Overly so, but f** Pa**ive
I chat sh** loads and you know my tongues magic
My drug habit and clothes are both free
'till I come home blagging in this homeless bloke's jeans
-- Stig of the Dump --
Hi
My names Steven
Would you like a little bit of company this evening?
You can bring the wine
I'll get the cheese and
Nah f** that let's get absolutely steaming!
Tell the bouncer I'ma bring a gram of weed in
Back stage at a rave with the grave chief'n
Bag a bag of beef till I start to lose the feelin' in my face
Smash the place till we're hangin' from the ceiling
Team hate SMB that's the link up
Truck a load but the whole party stink up
There's a prize at the bottom love, drink up
f** the respect
I want the money and my dick s**ed
Hawaiian shirt on my back, (splash)
Cool runnings, rockin' that John Candy swag
In fact what you want is penis
So I tell her that she's better on top like my team is
-- Dr Syntax --
Whose that dashing young exec making power moves
In the board room
Who told his secretary to never put your calls through? Not me
But picture that level of ignorance
And triple it and I will still be more rude, f** your crew
I'm like Jaws, you're more like Jaws II
Same sorta thing, not as good, poor you
I'm like bishop but with more juice
Unzip my flies then I put them in your soup
(word play)
Word to my potential unborn kids
Rappers forfeit and turn yellow like jaundice
Don't like my sh**?
Well horses for courses
But my guess is you're the sort of prick
Who thinks ballin' would be scorin' with a Geordie shore chick
During a Majorca trip you probably saw her in a spot, that probably cost 40 quid
My name is dr syntax I'm on some awesome sh**
But you already knew that didn't you
Of course you did
--BVA --
It's pannin' out and I ain't found no gold yet
Find me where the surface is wet but there's no mold yet
I'm all in and rappers start to fall past the stage
But for an old vet
Puttin' holes in the circles where the soul left
Blow clefts through smoke rings to test my aim
Don't play notes just B flat linin' them again
Keep what i C# cause this world can get insane
f** lies, f** blame, f** pride, f** shame
I'm a simple creature
Gimme a daim and big sack of reefer
And I'll smile like my dicks making a mouth deeper
A west of sav speaker
Spring a leak in a steady flow to zone on another bangin' Dike feature
sh** I might teach ya
Might not, might make you spak out and kick a hole in your right speaker
Tryina make this music ugly but beautiful
So kids could ugh, but not the head because it's musical
-- DatKid --
So.. if you hate my guts you can choke on my balls
And I'll take a picture of it just to post on your wall
I ain't blaggin' you up
Trust me I'm an arrogant c*nt
A savage a drunk f** and apparently scum
Just because I get my kick out of embarra**ing chumps
And taggin' their drums
Yeah I'm a vandal for fun
Smokin' f*gs just to damage my lungs
Screamin' life's too short
While I'm necking neat brandy and rum
I do music for a livin'
I ain't gettin' a job
Who the f**s gonna employ a stole veteran slob
That turns up to his midday shift at 7 o' clock
And pisses in the boss's office while he's telling him off?
So you can catch me lookin' smashed with a spliff and a beer
Feedin' a fat heffer chicken while I'm lickin' her ear
It's 5 am and my mission is clear
I need to bust a f**in' nut
And there ain't no other women in here
-- Verb T --
Aye yo man I hold weight and control these fakes
Eatin' chocolate cake, sippin' a protein shake
Fat face flows, and the track plays through
All these fake little rats in the trap they chose
V to the f**in E to the f**ing R to the B
The initial is T
I'm f**in' large
That's right, we rock homeless fashion
Might spit into the crowd show no compa**ion
Fools imaginations are overactive
Oh you're actin'
I'll burn you and mold the plastic
To a new shape, Two face
f** the fake hype
A new aim too shame struck with snake bite
Venom in the veins
Sendin' them insane
Rushin' through the blood
Intended for the brain
So you do well to remember these damn names
It's the new faces of the derelict campaign
-- Jam Baxter --
Screamin' in the face of every screen and peen receiver
Its' the Baxstar starkers and i fill the scene with ether
Yeah you see 'em
Crack hands mahoosive on a slappin' spree
Slug a slug backward after travel tavern balconies
So how could she
Watch your personality evaporate
Curdle in the corner and contaminate a tanqueray
With tears, tears, bitter sweet tears
While we're f**in' up the jam, with a spliff in each ear
This year, sh**s getting f**ing f**ed up
Round 2 acid prawn summer uncut
See the top shelf smut barren plummet untouched
And the sky settle safely in the blood and guts bruv
Well done
Recruiting for my rebel terror cells
Selling second hand remains from the day heaven fell
And congealed in the kitchen
Of every desert hell, is a moldy eyed chief
And a cracked metal shell let's move
-- Edward Scissortongue --
These are the words that my brain is tellin' me to stick down
On a sh**ty crumbled ugly f**in' piece of paper
I was thinking what the f** it's goin' on about
But it just told me to shut the f** up and ignite the flavor
So I listen to the feeble flappin' muscle in my skull
And put the pen back to the sheet until the ink wouldn't fit
To be honest everything I've ever written in my life has been abysmal
Why? cause I'm a stupid heap of sh**
I'm such a dick
The most selfish twat you'll ever meet
Trust me
Ask any person that I have ever known in my entire life and they'll confirm that Edward Scissortongue
Is hands down the biggest f**ing c*nt inside the country
Plus I'm f**ing stingy
I top load my zoots
And I won't drive you home to the village from the city
I swear to god that if you look at me again
I'll sh** my pants and start flinging f**ing flaming lumps like frisbees
-- Mr. Key --
Oi toss pot watch whats top of the pops?
No cotch with dot cotton hot boxin the dots (?)
And what, i'm not bothered if apocalypse drops
I'll be f**ed struttin' bollocks with a bottle of scotch
With god's comet?
Stop waffling cause probably not
Shop coffas shop shottas got us watchin' a clock
A scotch bun it hot molotov off the top
To polly folly pop son it what's proper and what?
I'm on a mission
There isn't sh** to do in spittin' writtens
I'm tryina bring a set of different kids in little Britain
If you ain't got a second to take a time to to listen to the wisdom
Then i ain't got the time to waste to k** the cynicism
I never had the time of day for givin' it the big 'im
When i spit i spit is sick for the spirits with'in a vision
It's the mr. kizzakizzum with a dirty double d cup
A pair of ma**ive tits keep smugglin' your peanuts
-- Fliptrix --
It's big flips the dangler
Microphone damager
Goin' through the green like a mutha f**in' rambler
Head's spinnin'
Metaphorical jazz
Still steppin' out on the road rockin' nothin' but old rags
T's I've had for years and jeans that are so sag
Got particles of dust in the wallet but no cash
All the dough I had i done spend it on chro' bags
Mixed it up with pizz until memories fade to black, its
Pointless for us to repent when there's no way to go back
Like a fetus in a jar
After a car crash
Disaster's a par fact
I'm pavin' them bars of hash
While you're screwin' at your zoogie complainin' of hard ash
You're a rookie I'm a lad
Look at me I pay in cash
Cause I'm fillin' out this venue the fans are just f**in' fab
I'm a smash like gla** against the concrete when it be dash
Real rapper bring it back
Call it zoogie man slide
-- MC Leafdog --
You can guarantee that Leaf is high
So many clouds in my room it's like the house is above the sky
No lie thats my life never lost a love
Son I put it on to beat like a boxer's glove
Workin' the sub like I'm in the navy
You know the claps comin' like the crowds's goin' crazy
Son of Lee son of Davey
Bring a summary like there's war comin' lately
That's how these c*nts made me
I don't feel that hip hop's represented
The music for the poor stood where the rich sent it
They're a joke
And never been a lyricist
The closest thing to seeing p**y was the mirror images
Don't take the risk cause you ain't half as nice
And will remain unknown like the secrets of the after life
In a world trying to search for the answer
A riddle through your mind just like a brain cancer
Dirty Dike: Ah hahaha haaaaa haaaa haaaaaa