[Hook + Intro] Everybody loves the fat man
And oh how the fat man can love (x4) Yo, (the fat man, uncut, b**h | the fat man, clean, chick) Don't mess with me or I'll blow up like a f**ing landmine
And do the same to your school that those two kids did [Columbine]
Well, at least I even f**ing graduated from College
Cuz those first twelve grades didn't give me no damn knowledge
And you could even set a world record
How bout "how many [planes] can you aim at the [World Trade Center]"
Or "how many offensive things can you put in a rap song"
(I don't know, like 25?) Come on, b**h, let's all sing-along
On stage, the ladies gon' all throw they bra's
Or if they're [atheists,] they'll probably throw it at [the cross]
When I took a hiatus from rapping, I got a 9-to-5
You n***as better be glad I'm even f**ing alive
That sh** was hard, harder than me watching p**n
While my dick's getting poked by a thorn
Eating candy corns, and it's not even Halloween
And I have freaking genital warts and it hurts when I take a wee-wee
The police siren go wee-wee, let's go
There was this one young a** fellow
He did a lot of h**n, the name was [Dan Manero]
And he was really mellow, but his brain was gone to mush, like a motherf**ing cup of Jello
And his favorite band was N'Sync
He would listen to "Bye Bye Bye" while [cumming in the sink]
[Manero] would always threaten to stab me with a meat cleaver
And he would smash my f**ing face on top of a parking meter
[Hook]
[Verse Two]
Did j**s drink booze and apple juice
Thats the best mix when you see Tom Green hump a dead moose
I hate when I hear someone got molested
How many offensive jokes can I make before I get arrested
And my old house is infested
With some rhymes I never had
One rhyme was called "I Have A Dad"
That sh** sounded sad
And if it did, I'm glad
I mean, that would be rad
What if pouring salt on a snail
Would get you 25 to life in jail
Everybody hates the fat man
But they love the skinny
Man, I'm seeing all yellow
God damn it, Pooh, The, Winnie
Saying n***a more times than [silence]
When I got a lot on my mind, I just do the Codeine, ya see
I don't know what anything means
The only thing restoring me is puffing on the leaf
My car broke down and I'm walking down the road
My luck, I f**ing crash the car in drunk mode
Then I order a mail order bride that I don't even need
Then for the real effect, I do the overload on weed
Then I take a real big bite of a Big Mac
Breath so f**ing bad you need some acid and a Tic-Tac
Doing a rap battle and my opponents so wack
This n***a's disses be hurting my god damn back
[Hook]