[Intro]
Hey guys it's ya boy KSIOlajideBT and welcome to the race to division 1
Now I know I've been quite slow so today, yeah can you hear that
Today, I've decided to speed things up
With my African music in the background
Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go
[Verse]
Porto vs Marseille
Marseille combining like cheese on toast
One pa** football
How the hell did he get past my defence
Complete piss take
Nevertheless he scored the goal
Now my turn to come back
Hulk takes the ball like a b**h
Runs towards goal cause he's got the pace
To help me win this f**ing race
To get to division one, that's what I want
I see Varela in the prime position
Now prepare for some repetition
Get your tits out, get your tits out, get your tits out
[Verse 2]
Now it's half time
I swap Varela for Djalma
Really weird name
Nonetheless great ball from Hulk
I chest it, aim at goal
And finds the net with great precision
The black man finds the net
But, I'm not done
Hulk in the box, having a rave
Scores a goal which he should have saved
But, I don't really care
Oh look, there's a bare
A bit random, yes I know
But now we have Joao Moutinho
Touching left, touching right
I have a penis now here's a kite
Now you're probably wondering: What am I on
It's not d** but I've won 4-1
I pick Athletico, cause I can
Marseille again, oh for god's sake
Perfect time for "pedo break"
[Interlude]
You're getting raped today
[Verse 3]
Okay we're back, Reyes on the wing
Scoring goals and doing that t'ing
I cross the ball, find Falcao
Great save, but now
Reyes has two goals
But my opponent brings it back
Falcao on the ball
Gets past them like he's black
Scores the chance
I win 3-1 now I a victory dance
[Interlude 2]
Drum and ba**
[Verse 4]
Enough of that it will be done
I will get to division one
I pick Napoli: Italian beast
And this opponent will be my feast
Wait, do you remember? The spinning guy
Oh, Bender
[Interlude 3]
You spin me right round baby
[Verse 4]
Lol yeah, that guy
Quite the joker, don't you agree
Shut the f** up, because you're distracting me
[Interlude 4]
I'm so sorry
[Bridge]
No, I won't accept that
And with this epic music behind me
It will slow things down
And I know my audience don't want that
Because they want to see me go to division one
So here's a cat
[Interlude 5]
Woof woof
Where do you come up with these things?
And a cat doesn't g-
You know, I don't even care anymore
[Verse 5]
Okay my friends let's turn up the pace
We got Lavezzi running in some space
Okay it's time to get really sweaty
And yeah I do kinda feel slightly guilty
But I'm a black man, whatchagonnado?
Cos' you're scared that I'm gonna shank you
I joke I joke, I kid I kid
But you know it's kinda really true
Zuniga scores the goal
Motherf**er I'm 2 nil up
I score again
Motherf**er I'm 3 nil up
He quits the game
Bro, u mad?
Promotion time is here
Let's do this
[Pre Outro]
For my last game I pick: Ivory Coast
And here is some toast
Now this is the final battle
And then I'm gonna get my facial
Not the the one you're thinking
You sick twisted ba*tard
[Outro]
The forehead, scores with his head
I mean look at the thing; how could he miss
Then the Bambatastic man finds some space to header it into the back of the net
But of course, how can we forget: Drogba
Easy peasy
And again. Kone is on the ball doing his sk**s and why is the screen frozen
No, no, no no no no no, no
I mean, seriously no
No, no
Wait, there may be some salvation...
Oh god dammit no
No, no, no, god argh
Stupid son of a b**h
Urgh- argh my foot
Ow, f** that
f** that to hell
f** you
f**. Screw this
Oh my god are you serious