[Round 1: Soul Khan]
Yo I said...
[Kap Kallous]
Ayo, see...y'all might convince me that Hip Hop Lives In The North
But you'll never convince me that hip hop lives in these dorks
I'm from the O-Zone, home of Rugged, Madness and Storm
You baby bird, I will cut your umbilical
See you watched a lot of battles and you taught yourself to free
He's got a bunch of cheesy flips, calls himself an "MC"
You masturbate to Grind Time then cry yourself to sleep
But instead of seeing Freddy there's The Saurus in his dreams
And you love that sh**
You've got a poster of Dizaster and you hug that sh**
There is a life size Illmaculate magnet that is on your fridge
Cause without the world of battle rapping you do not exist
See he's got some flips, and he's skinny and he's lean
You're basically qualified for the Canadian gymnastics team
And you think battling me is gonna get you some props?
You're ugly, you can't shave and your balls haven't dropped
You're a 16 year old battle rap f*ggot who lives in his parents house
The only thing we got in common is we both still kiss your mother...on the mouth
See I know it makes you angry Charron
When you call up your mom...and I pick up the phone
Like, "I'm sorry little man, but your mother ain't home
And I hope you ain't mad but I borrowed some clothes."
I said I'm an international man cause I stay on the road
Without battle rapping you will never be known
I've got a style of my own, you're forever a clone
I signed your autographs now leave me alone
And when his disgusting who*e of a mother was pregnant with Charron
She wanted a baby shower to celebrate...
So me and Soul Khan came on her face
I said I know I wasted a whole round picking on this dweeb
But sh**...
[Soul Khan]
...on the bright side he ain't that f*ggot Tricky P
[Round 1: Tricky P]
Now my battle with Rich was a ma**ive handful of sh**
But not bad enough to stop you jacking my angles from it
Like how his accent would switch from U.S. to Canada quick
And that town's population line, yeah, that was actually Trick
But I ain't gon' front man I was proud as can be
You even got the Tricky P choke down to a T
[Charron]
While he was like, "Aww motherf**er, hold on, hold on this verse needs a retrial."
I was giving words of encouragement meanwhile like, "Hey! Jacka**! Learn how to freestyle!"
Your battle with Rich is cut to the throat pride
It's ironic you battled a drunk and you stumbled the whole time
You always claim you get b**hes, I know you're lying
Cause in a way, women are like gingers, they'll never have a Soul inside them
[Tricky P]
He acts modest to the public but don't make the wrong a**umption
Fess up Stewart Little you're one co*ky munchkin
[Charron]
When the camera's on he's like, "I ain't gonna lie. Rich got me. f** it."
Then they turn off the bu*ton, you walked and grunted, "Soul Khan ain't never lost to nothing!"
Dirtbag grabbed his hand like, "I got ya pumpkin
I paid Arcane my pocket change to s** off all the judges."
You think you could've won without using some of Trick's lines?
[Tricky P]
All you had were short jokes, you were only this high
[Charron]
Who the f** are you to judge a dude for being shrimp sized?
[Tricky P]
One more question Soul, WHO THE fu*k IS THIS GUY?!
[Kal Kallous]
I'm pretty sure everyone know who the f** I am by the way
[Tricky P]
Yeah I know we do, it's Kap Kallous, Lord division Prez
Caring parent of the Zone, an innovative genius like the heretics of old
He even made his league a title match of their very very own
And called it, "King Of Grind Time"
f**ing Americans I know!
[Charron]
Surgeon's your champ, I left him buried in his home
Which means that I'm the king, I've inherited the throne
Since I'm not under presidents like Marilyn Monroe
I'll tell these Jews what to do; Ariel Sharon
Yo, and I'll even hit him with flips I'll even come off the top cause my racks could rock him
He's got f**ing Orlando Magic, well I know there's a problem when you tap this possum
Cause you lacked the condom now his a** is problem like Magic Johnson
[Round 2: Kap Kallous]
See they talked about me being president, I got a lot of Lewinski's on my co*k
But trust me you little f*ggot, I am more f**ing G.W. than Barack
[Soul Khan]
It goes like this...
Now Tricky's so obsessed with my work and my life
This motherf**er probably got circumcised twice
See, he tends to f** up and freestyle as if the match is a cipher
You're like my grandmother, you're senile and you have a vagina
Speaking of the elderly, you missed me versus Richy
Why? True story, your mom was turning 60
Do the math that means she was like 40 when she had you
And obviously she was drinking 40's when she had you
And she trying to get her groove back despite her wrinkly looks
But no one falls for her cause she the oldest trick in the book
But I'd hit it even if that ho needs dentures
While y'all b**hes touch fingers and yell "go team venture!"
You're f**ing with your pops and Brock Sanson now
I tossed a brick of C4 into Santa's mouth
Hold on I'm getting the spirit right now
Hold on, hold on
{starts his Tricky P impression}
*I get love even though I'm from a different nation
I hope Tricky is patient because it's about time for a quick innovation
Yo it's simple and plain why this simpleton's hating
He visited my crib and his sister was naked
Spread her sheet just to get a quick whiff of the fragrance
She's a ginger but the smell was more like cinnamon raisin*
Hold on, hold on, hold on!
*I'll fight him, I'll beat him, I'll bite him, I'll eat him
You're writing, you're read 'em but your rhymes all s** so your mind just deletes 'em*
Then he goes all terrified, his way with words all paralyzed
Then he falls the f** apart like he just heard his parent's died
Then he goes back to that "Yo I'm freestyling, break this cat
He's getting slapped with mega raps
I'm freestyling, I'm freestyling, I'm freestyling, did I mention that?"
But honestly, f** all that, Kap could've murked you alone
[Kap Kallous]
But at least he's not that cancer having Progeria f**ing using 16 virgin Charron
[Soul Khan]
Splash
[Round 2: Charron]
Yo that sh** you did about Tricky P, that was pretty cool sh**
"Oh f**, turn that off."
That's my impersonation of you watching your second round against Rich
Yo, these two Jews haven't had time to sleep or shower
They heard a myth that feeds them with belief and power
I saw them with their Jew bags in the air for at least an hour
Trying to catch pennies people drop from the CN Tower
[Tricky P]
Hey Soul what happened to DNA and Dan?
You got so many partners it's like you're dancing having a gala
And I know this kid's your kin but I don't think Kap is a keeper
What you do is easy man, believe me
I could use your style to beat ya
{Starts imitating Soul Khan}
*You look like Woody Allen, you're such a goddamn wiener
But for some reason you're rapping like a southern baptist preacher
Why you spin around and pivot like a f**ing ballerina*
[Charron]
Wika-wika click that replay
Soul I'm surprised you can't get one BJ
When you got the voice of a f**ing strip club DJ
[Tricky P]
{Imitating Soul Khan again}
*[?] with her titillating ways
And now welcoming Kap Kalisa to the stage*
[Charron]
You both ask Organik to battle here
Then can rake in the cash and green
So we paid for your travel fees instead of the rate of a camera team
Now all the fans pay twice as much for admission cause you're straight up some drama queens
Wow, it's great to know how much you support the Canadian battle scene
America only helps you out if you have something to share
I heard you're still sending troops to Haiti, I didn't know they had oil down there
[Tricky P]
Now we're youngins so you're probably wondering why we're facing these vets
But originally they were supposed to battle Knamelis and Sketch
They went with us cause they knew they could cook up some cheap bars
About how they think we're gay cause I look like a sweetheart
But in reality you're shook of a real spar, so in reality you're bigger pussies than we are
[Charron]
Soul was born legally blind, his mom let out a mean old scream
The doctors promised to cure him they swear to G.O.D
They built those futuristic gla**es in three whole weeks
Put 'em on Khan's face like, "HE GON' SEE! HE GON' SEE!"
[Tricky P]
Listen, f** a promo match
I'd say Soul should stay souly as a solo act
You love the Tricky P you bit from me, we both know that
Now you mimic my spitting like I'm on some robo rap?
Well then it's no doubt that, want to bolo's Kap
Like Go-Go Gadget y'all gon' hear a Soul clap
[Charron]
Last night you told Kap you're going to Tricky's to give him a talk
He screamed on you saying he's having his ginger convention til 11:00 o'clock
He screamed on your a** like a Mel Gibson a**ault
You're a f**ing dwarf, if you get raped by a pack of gingers it's your fault
And Kap, I brought you a casket, I hope you're ready to die
I'll put Kap in a box and Soul Khan is a f*ggot
[Round 3: Soul Khan]
{Starts imitating Charron}
*Yo, yo this is every single rebu*tal you've ever said before
I may not have had s** before but I'm a really creative person, I'm really great with metaphors*
[Kap Kallous]
I said, I made a promise to myself
In this battle I wouldn't make a reference to AIDS if these two kids didn't act gay
Well...AIDS
Don't say you beat the sh** out of me cause I'll put my f**ing hands around this herbs neck
And look at your shirt, you officially have a bird chest
See, ever since I got to Canada, y'all been kissing my a** and shaking my hand
In front of all you Canadian fans, I'm feeling like a black dude in Japan
If I punched P in the face, he would pee in his pants
Swollen prostate, P/pee don't stand a chance
[Soul Khan]
Now you talked about about me choking, I only done it like one time
Y'all just pissed off I came to your country and won a battle with one line
[Kap Kallous]
And you think that you can do me harm with your baby carrot sticks for arms?
If you're a Trick I'll pull your card
Then put Trick in a box; Lucky Charms
[Soul Khan]
Now against OZ, Charron spit the theories of Sigmund Freud
This just in, you are officially into boys
It's like Organik sent y'all b**hes on a mission to get destroyed
Cause y'all about as tough as when Siegfried is kissing Roy
[Kap Kallous]
Yo, and as the world gets colder and you both get older
You will continue to look like Richie Rich, Johnny Quest and Rin Tintin's owner
I met Charron's sister *bing* gave her a clitoral bo*er
And now she's ma-ma my
[Soul Khan]
Sharona!
Last time me and Charron were here chilling with some honeys
I'm wife'd up but watching him in action was funny
There was that one shorty was on you, shorty was hotter than sin
She would've gotten it in
She put her hand on your leg and you were like, "Wait, we don't even have a bottle to spin!"
When I was a 12 year old like you I dreamed of getting p**y off of rap
So how come when there was p**y on yo' lap
You acted like there was an actual p**y on your lap
[Kap Kallous]
By the way his mother's p**y is pink, comfy and fat
But on the real, I got love for Canadians
I mean your women are fly, your weed gets me high
You're all kind of cool, except for these guys
Organik's that dude but Pat Stay is arrogant
Kid Twist is a tool and Hollohan is an Aryan
So f** all these US and Canadian comparisons
When Loe Pesci is your best rapper and he wants to be American
[Round 3: Charron]
You said we hung with some b**hes and I didn't get sh**
That may be real
Cause we went out for dinner and this Jew was too broke to f**ing pay for their meal
[Soul Khan]
I bought her chicken fingers that's a lie
[Tricky P]
This co*ky f**
If only you could hear the things at supper that his mother has said
Like, "Another event?! But you don't have enough for your rent!"
[Charron]
"But I'm the best battler in the world mom!"
[Tricky P]
"Are you slapped in the head?
I don't understand it you just call people "f*ggots" you don't know proper descent
Why couldn't you have been a lawyer like your cousins instead?
[?] in Brooklyn with all these thuggish brothers again?"
[Charron]
"But mom those thugs are my friends!"
[Tricky P]
"My only son is a scam!"
And his dad's like, "Sarah leave the boy alone you're smothering him!"
[Charron]
And Kap, your King Of Grind Time idea is useless and wack
You want a freestyle king to be viewed as the champ
It's a writ' league the two just don't match, you should get a boot from the staff
How f**ing stupid is that?
If you're an NFL coach you'd drop members to your team after
Seeing which quarterbacks could eat the most pig scrotum's on Fear Factor
[Tricky P]
KOTD, been hustling forever
Organik got media outlets while you're juggling investors
[Charron]
You claim you got the belt and we're your number one contender
But you only get more views cause your country has more members
Now King Of The Dot is on the top and your buckling from pressure
Cause Organik and his staff run their company way better
[Tricky P]
And I said he was an innovator but that round was facetious
He just stole all of our ideas and put Kap Kal' underneath 'em
And when setting up Surgeon General vers' HighCollide as your proudest achievement
I'd say we got ourselves a solid ground for impeachment
Grind Time clowns said our crowds were too loud and called us a bunch of f*ggots
Well at least these crowds make sound and watch the f**ing matches
[Charron]
America claims are unbiased and you can whoo them with your magic
But when you cheated Trick that Illusion up and vanished
We're Canucks so for us being humble is automatic
You f**ed up and you s**, yeah we said you won and smashed it
[Tricky P]
Now you're back and demanding Travis make plans for travel package?
Asking for cash and craftily snatching it from him Organik
You should be paying HIM just for giving you chumps the chances
You're rapping in the best league in the f**ing planet