[Round 1: Deffinition]
Yo, what's up ya buncha f**ing c*nts?
It's f**ing Deffinition
Such a gangsta I got sent to prison
Dropped the n-word around some black guys
And they just let it slip and pretend I didn't
I can beat you at everything like a hand of poker cause this man is broke
Those WRC rings are the most expensive things that you own
And Harry knows they were made from a plastic mold
You'll only get a dollar if you tried to trade them in at Cash 4 Gold
But on the bright side that's more than the money you made on what your sh**ty f**ing album sold
You have a camel toe like Amber Rose
Uno Lavoz f**ed your b**h you fat motherf**er
He wifed up some 19 year old groupie in Australia and she made him sleep on the couch
Next week Uno Lavoz was eating her out and had his D in her mouth
And she told him it was some Mexican guys cleaning the house
He was back home checking his social media accounts like
"She just tweeted me wow
That's the second time this month. It's getting pretty serious now."
I mean wasn't it weird when you found her always popping up on Skype wearing sombreros
And her favorite s** position was the Eddie Guerrero, Mexican bear hold?
Was it weird when you were licking her out that time and started getting an echo
Somebody in the back of her vagina screaming, "I said yo."
You've been friend zoned by a groupie, don't you think that sh**'s weird?
She f**ed Uno Lavoz after you she's practically sleeping her way to mid tier
I'm sincere, my motto in life is to punch kids and f** b**hes
And if you do 3-0 me this battle will come up missing
I'll leave you unlisted
f** this sh**, I only took the battle for the free flight and trip
This entire round I've just been freestyling it
The only thing I did to prepare was compile a list
Of all the reasons I was too lazy to write for this
Reason one:
Time
[Round 1: The Saurus]
First of all that bullsh** line Lexx Luther dropped was weak
If you're gonna spit some Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z sh**, take it to the D Pride show across the street
A decade deep in this game, keeping my name strong
Before the Vegas heat, when I had to creep through the Bay's fog
A beast in a cage, searching for people to face off
And build a bridge of bodies piece by piece like the Great Wall
Some people remain bosses, other people get laid off
He's all bark no bite, this a tree to a chainsaw
They're trying to make me put a collar and leash on a stray dog
Cause it feels like y'all robbing Peter to pay Paul
But nah, this was, pay Peter through PayPal to murder Paul
Really ain't sh** he can say now, I heard it all
Your curtain calls ready, we serving Salisbury
I'll let all y'all be pallbearers when Paul's buried
Punches swinging non-stop
My penmanship will pendulum him
He'll have a small stroke on the canvas, that's impressionism
The dead have risen, left will hit him, head is spinning
Knock out the possessed that's in him
That's the definition of an exorcism
But I ain't messing with him, yo you leaving with a broke neck
This was supposed to be your big comeback
Cause you ain't heard how it goes Def'
sh** bring Jefferson Price back, we'll get 'em both stretched
You can't back out of this Fiasco, this what you wanted Mos Def (most Def')
Yo, there's no question I'll own Def' in a battle, a roast session
We can take ten paces and draw like an old western
When he starts yelling, start etching this guy's headstone
Cause I brought my own metal I don't like Def Tones
I will body bag you
I heard you and Eur' tried to start a rap crew called Paul & Abdul
Time
[Round 2: Deffinition]
Yo, last year I left and thought I truly had quit
I only came back cause Jefferson Price cheated on me but promised we could move to the sticks
Nah, see I was a teacher and I had to hide my rapping side
On principle a principle had me acting like a pantomime
Cause in England if you do rape jokes they'll have you sacked for writing battle rhymes
But I swear I forced all the 16 year old girls to cum/come...to the cla** on time
I've been writing this battle for ten years, yeah that's my life
But if I lose I'll just do the Smack rapper lie
And say I got paid and just haven't tried
I'll take you back in time to when Spaghetti Face
Was in 7th grade and girls would talk to him and he'd try to press escape to get away
The only time you got to second base
Was playing Call Of Duty when you've captured B and were tasked with defending A
And the biggest chest you ever seen is the Legend Of Zelda game
You used to spend your Friday nights at freestyle events instead of getting laid
So now to make up for it, every day he gets engaged
But they always separate, he'll still eat the f**ing wedding cake
And poor little Illmac is stuck cleaning up the mess you made
It's very strange you're wifeing groupies, what you thinking G?
All those women cheat like him poker with hidden queens in his sleeves
Once his girlfriend's hit 16 and isn't one who didn't leave
All those near misses left you with a few near misses Pete
Slow it down I think I may of just dissed you
I'll have to go back
Mrs. Pete/misses Pete? That sh** is heat!
You can disagree but your last fiancee, she's gone
Your fiancee before that, she's gone
You've had more engagements rings than you've got WRC ones
It seems wrong when you've written more marriage vows than battle rounds
Just cause you look like Geo dude doesn't mean you have to throw rocks
It's ironic girls call you a "grenade" when they're the ones who remove the ring and then go off
I won't stop, I leave you staring at the floor the way you see defeat (da feet)
Oooohhh, cause I-
It's like I featured on your sh**ty album the way you'll see Def' feat'
It's like the lunch you had some correctly arrange alphabety spaghetti
Cause aye (A) B, you'll see (C) D-E-F eat
Your whole crew will get ate and then you'll see Def' eat!
What?! That was the best bar of the f**ing event!
Time!
[Round 2: The Saurus]
Alright, those were cool, but I got my own jabs to throw back at him
A couple words just for Def/deaf, that's closed captioning
I'm the reason you chose battling
But after this you won't rap again
And that's the thing about imitation that's most flattering
Toe tagging him, please test my reflex
You keep pressing reset and regress with each step
Besides Illmac and E. Ness, I'm thee best O.G. left
Let's be real, sh** I'd rather be deaf than be Def'
Take a deep breath, I'ma make you mind your business
You wish you were Batman but you're the Bane of my existence
It ain't just because you're British but it makes a giant difference
It's just hard to give him credit, there's no rate of rising interest
You did a battle dressed as Batman, I can still remember
Even had a costume change, you made a real sweet effort
And I understand that Batman's your guilty pleasure
But that sh** was so embarra**ing...it k**ed Heath Ledger
I know, I'd be mad at him too
Too soon, nah it's too late for Bruce Wayne to mutate
Stop Two Face from making your b**h blow like a fuel tank
The new Bane you best hope that boomerang shoots straight
If you take a shot and you miss boy it's Doomsday
This the Bluejays roster vers' some UK impostor
Who ain't down with action like a Wu-Tang concert
And if I really wanted a 3-0 Def' I think I'd just go get a drink
Cause he handles his liquor worse than Michael J. Fox handles...anything
[Round 3: Deffinition]
And a good day to you too sir
I'd like to begin by rebu*ting your previous prior claims immediately
[?] to that your primary fiancee was meeting me, secretly
She performed s**ual acts frequently
That one could only describe as showing a lack of true decency
My habitat proves you can't imagine the amount of illegal contraband I have consumed within your community
You're a man of poor standing and character too
If we were to engage in fisticuffs I propose that you would lose
Do you wanna scuffle, a tussle? No?
Hahaha, exactly as I presumed
There's no honor in battling you
I mean, even poRich has bodied you hard
And he's on day 3, Ground Zero and isn't even top of the card
Leaving this for a job wasn't hard, that's why I quit it
Cause at the time everyone was trying gimmicks, buying lyrics
And the game was lined with snitches like it's Quidditch
So if a career comes up over this sh**, you damn right I'll be finished
Stop your whining b**hes, you ain't got a business mind so mind your business!
See, with me, sky's the limit
But you're 33 and still grinding a scene that's defined by basically the blind just leading the blind
You're a thesaurus, I thought it would be easy to find
A new definition or a different meaning for life
Your cheeks have a shine like you've been taking crack now
Want some advice on the rock? Lay the smack down
I hate this fat clown
He'll feel my entire round and just be acting like he doesn't
Until I drop a funny bar and he starts nodding like the Muppets
I'm back on my evil sh**, I can free and flip
Even Dizaster showed up as Eur' just to see me spit
You're a loser, now-a-days on fliers you don't even make top billing
And in real life you lose more poker games than a James Bond villain
Y'all know my slogan
Ummm, my sh** is fake, my sh** ain't real, my sh** ain't authentic
And y'all can't spell World Domdenation without putting "Dofination" in it
Time!
[Round 3: The Saurus]
Yo, this is not going to be your favorite round
A couple years ago Def' lost his job cause in his battles he was acting like a racist clown
So he took some time, weighed things out and thought, "I'll just have a break for now."
Then called every league he ever battled for and tried to have every battle taken down
That is such b**h sh**
Such Brit sh**
Take credit for years with no accountability for the territory that comes with it?
Then spend the last two with your nose up acting like you're above this sh**?
Like, "f** battling, I'm done with it
Bruv. Innit?"
But let me guess, since you did it your whole life has been much different
Now you run shipments like a drug business
No?
Did you become rich yet?
No?
Then what's up with it?
Can you even name one instance that's come up since then
Where because you had your battles removed your life was completely uplifted?
One tidbit
One sign to show us the sun shifted
A cop pulled you over for speeding, he was going to write you a dumb ticket
But didn't because your battles were unlisted
Well you must've missed it a lot cause you came crawling back
Couldn't find a better place
Thought you had a big new job now and no time to dedicate to this childish little phase
Yeah, I guess hypothetically that might've been the case
But in reality, once they met you they would've fired you anyways
Time