[Round 1: HFK]
Pat Stay was in his room jumping around like, "White power! White power!"
And then Kaliente came in like, "What the f** did you just say?!"
And he's like, "Oh ahhh, I like basketball. Dwight Howard! Dwight Howard!"
f** him and all of Scotia, I will not let this wack cat win
Cause I'm the damn champion
And after giving birth to this giganticly retarded man standing
f**ing his mom is like throwing a banana down the Grand Canyon
He changes his Facebook status every two minutes like a dumb c*nt
Like, "What's a good place to go and get a buzz cut?"
"Will someone so kindly let me borrow one buck?"
"I'm in search of a job, can somebody hook this bum up?"
Well here's my fully updated status
"Hey numb nuts. Shut the f** up!"
He's like The Hulk so don't get him angry
Cause the last time someone said, "Pat's a f*ggot"
The neck on this man just vanished
He shrunk two feet, gained 40 pounds of muscle, got all tanned and ma**ive
Magically developed some awesome f**ing rapping tactics
Made his King Of The Dot debut and murdered a rapper named Lavish Language
You can't step into my ring cause you know I'm iller
And your weak a** punchlines wouldn't even get a "oooooh!" from Zilla
He puts his cell phone on vibrate, shoves it up his a** and tells all of his friends
"Call me every chance that you get. And if I don't pick up. Call me again."
You know how I could tell he likes the fat size dick?
Cause he's not much into weed but every time his boys roll a fat size spliff
He's like, "Whoa, whoa Mac, Kyle, Nick. Let me baptize it."
Any rapper who's f**ed with me lost
And he gives guys head for nothing, he's a s**a free boss
[Round 1: Pat Stay]
Quit dissing Nova Scotia when you battle man, that's weak
Cause that thick a** chin strap makes you look like the Persia version of Alexander Keith
You're going home alone tonight, I'm taking these b**hes with me
You should move to Nova Scotia there's plenty fish in the sea
b**h you look like a f**ing bullfrog, like seriously
This motherf**er came here on a leaf, bent his heals and just leaped
Christ, I would never chose a b**h after this guy's been inside her
sh** the last girl he even kissed looked like Designer vaginer
He's a chronic masturbater and he meditates as he lies by the fire
Then starts jerking off while listening to Eye Of The Tiger
Yo, just beating her all aggressively on some hand sprained action
Yo, bag slapping his leg clapping
They call him "Rampage Jackson"
He's from Scarborough but he ain't never been in no trouble with the law
If he's got his hands behind his back he's just unbuckling his bra
Speaking of which, either his tits are fake or he's stuffing it with sauce
Christ, he could booty clap off a bottle cap with that badonkadonk he's got
Yo, that f**ing retard Mista Conspiracy said that HFK's got this for sure
I said, "Yeah, and Syco is hung like a horse."
Cause quite frankly, if my jokes are more funny than yours
And that's your only style than I won this even before I got through the door
He got way too ahead of himself but it's not his fault it's his friends
They ga**ed him up and now he's got a big head like a king's bed
Well I'ma bring him back to reality
And after he'll be glad that he battled me
It's practically therapy
Snap him out of his fantasies and prove that he's actually just sad and embarra**ing
s**a
[Round 2: HFK]
Before the battle Pat went to Organik like, "Hey, I got some good sh** for HFK. But give me a line that'll be a real true dagger."
Organik's like, "You should say this 'Hey yo! I'm a mean real rapper. And you're probably gonna f** three dudes after
And you're so motherfu*kING fat that everytime you have a bar there's a motherfu*kING BQ after'"
This ignoramus got stoned and thought he could make a broad moan
So he stuck his tongue out to her like {panting sound}
And she's like, "Ew, here, take this dog bone. I'd rather be dating Bartone."
He came to visit me in Iran last year and my uncle woke me up in the middle of the night
Like, "Get up Harabi! And for the love of Allah, please go tell your friend who is co*ky, to stop having s** with my donkies!"
This is my battlefield and I k** fakes, I'm too raw
But you? You go to diners with Hollohan and share a milkshake with two straws
Probably buy lube at the s** store and take dick in your a** til it gets sore
And loves to watch Hollohan workout, but Pat is the one that sweats more
He caught me in his house in my boxers eating eggs and some hot bread
And why he hates Mecca jeans is cause when he went upstairs he found my pair on his mom's bed
Now look how shook he's looking
Plus I thought your girl was only good for cooking
But she's a hockey player, cause on the street she's on ice getting booked for hooking
You're a sh**ty a**hole with wack raps
And to f** up my concentration he paid his filthy damn boys some mad cash
To keep saying, "HFK! You will not win this battle you JACKASS!"
Now you can make fun of the style that I have and all the moves that I do when I'm rapping
But this old vet's just pissed that Happy stole his spotlight
Shooter McGavin
[Round 2: Pat Stay]
Yo, he's the type of s**er that hangs with mad b**hes but never has s** though
The genes/jeans you inherited from your parents were definitely Exco
And y'all wanna know some shady stuff?
When the bouncer checked his coat before he came in the club
He found latex gloves, ankle cuffs and a 12 inch an*l plug that said "Pain Is Love"
That's gay as f**
And he said I asked Organik for lines, that was some cute sh**
Motherf**er you look like a huge blimp
sh**, I asked him to the gym with me today he was like, "Who's Jim?"
Anyway, so he came to the gym like "Aight. Show me what to do."
I'm like, "Cool. Well let's work on your forearms."
He's like, "But I only got two."
Yo, showed him some cardio exercises, right? Guy couldn't do a damn thing
Only reason he even broke a sweat is cause I said the word "hamstring"
He can't do sit-ups cause his stomach weight would suffocate his f**ing face
So I said, "Let's just bust some weights. Grab a couple plates."
He comes back with supper and a tummy ache
Yo wait, then I took him to the beach, make your boy look better, right?
He scares women
We hit the mall first so he could cop a new shirt to wear swimming
Wait, then we get to the beach he starts running toward the water
I'm yelling, "Stop!", he's catching speed
Then does a belly flop and fell on top of this s**y blond chick; rest in peace
See I can beat you at your own game and I'm just kicking my feet up
He only raps tight when he's flipping a pita or twisting a chicken fajita
sh**, this motherf**er is so fat he eats burgers and dips them in pizza
If you grab his tits and just squeeze 'em you could stick your dick in-between them
See, your verses have no structure, the set ups are so boring
Your whole style is one dimensional, your jokes are so corny
You have no actual rap sk**s, you ain't nothing but a goof
If I'm funnier and better than him at his one and only element than to me what the f** are you?
[Round 3: HFK]
f** that, I don't think Pat Stay's a boss
Especially when he came here with a shirt that looks like his mom's table cloth
He likes kids and the other day his breath smelled like sh**
And I'm like, "Dude, what did you eat?"
And he's like, "sh**."
He backed up twice from this battle like, "{coughing} You know that Laryngitis thing? {coughing} I think I caught it."
And then he ran in the bathroom like, "Yo Hollohan man I think they bought it."
Your sister loves entering my home
But right before that hooker and I bone
I spread her vag' lips open same way I zoom in on the iPhone
You got nothing but negative comments, but hey, girls love sh** talk
So change your rap name from Pat Stay to WorldStarHipHop
Wow, Pat is just the weakest rapper, but I love eating his mom's c*nt
Now that delicious sea food platter is my version of John's Lunch
Pat, it's time to get a damn job
Cause this guy's a f**ing jack off
And if your girl s**s as bad as you rap...well then I'll just get a hand job
And for anyone who hates bad judging, make this motherf**er your target
Cause when I battled Jack sh**t he voted for HFK then the s**er departed
But Jack sh**t k**ed me in three
So either you got a crush on me or you're just f**ing retarded
And after hearing his wack bummy flows, I realized that Pat f**ing blows
And I know you're a big guy and all but every cat f**ing knows
That lyrically I left you with a broken leg, a black eye and a cracked ugly nose
Put my foot on your chest...and did the Al Bundy pose
[Round 3: Pat Stay]
I had the happiest, most pleasant dream the other night
I remember it was the summer time and there were bu*terflies
Singing lullabies...and your mother died
I awoke with a swollen crotch, a co*ky smile and sticky sheets
But ever since I found out that b**h is still alive I can't get to sleep
Every person you love and equally share a special bond I wish d**h upon
Don't test me dawg, I got six (sick) sides to me like a hexagon
I dare you to, I'll embarra** you
Grab your shirt and start whaling you
And swell up your head 'til it looks like an air balloon
And you got to wear a tuke the size of a parachute
Cause he don't wanna go round for round with me, don't even bother
If this whale even breathes he'll get blown out the water
300 something pounds he ain't fit for no street sh**
You a motherf**ing cow, you'll be tipped over sleeping
Keep cracking jokes, I'll crack your jaw
Have you sipping applesauce through a plastic straw
Nova Scotians don't say "aboot" but you'll catch a boot that'll f**ing smash your skull
You wouldn't last a second in my city, I'd treat you like a little b**h
Make you take me to John's Lunch and f**ing piss and sh** in your fish and chips
Yo, and let it be known I'll beat a s**er to d**h
You'll get a knife stuck in your head so you don't f**ing forget
sh**, I'll bust in your crib, slap your mom and dad
Pick up your sister, slam her on her back
Stomp your cat and put your f**ing chocolate lab in the Boston Crab
Yo and if your grandmother want it too? Sonic boom
But all jokes aside, let's start breaking him down with facts
Now he's good at making the crowd react but it's based on how loud they laugh
So a comedy show converted to rhyme form is basically how he raps
A bit of comedy is cool but when it's all that you do
And you're the same every round it's wack
And what bugs me the most is he'll crack some corny a** mother jokes and everybody dies
And a bunch of irrelevant lines that could be said to any of you guys
And they don't even make sense 75% of the time
So if y'all wanna live the culture you better decide whether it's dead or alive
See the whole reason I don't battle much is cause sh** like that make battles s**
But I'ma get it in no matter what like Syco's little dick in her ma**ive c*nt
Cause I'm the f**ing best in Canada and G.O.D is my witness
So y'all better pray you ain't on me or Hollohan's hit list