[Round 1: Arcane]
Let's take it back
World Rap Championships
New York, the clash of all clashes
Illmac and The Saurus vs Wapps and Juice, what a f**ing cla**ic
I heard y'all made a deal before that battle though
What the f** is that sh**?
The same dudes you beat for those rings, you split the cash with?
Yo, you can ask Eurgh, ask Jaze, they were there, they can attest to it
But that wasn't the only deal you made before that battle, I heard some extra sh**
See Pete didn't have no pre-meds for Wapps or Jaze so he was running around all desperate
But Kid Twist had bars for those dudes so guess who Pete made a connection with
This is a true story
Kid Twist agreed to give you bars in exchange for sharing the wealth
You actually paid him cash for his lines cause you couldn't make 'em up yourself
So how the f** do you think you deserve to wear that Canadian belt
When you wouldn't be two time sh** without a Canadian's help
World Series of Poker...you were a loser
For all the fiends I'ma spoil it
Muhf**er got dumped by a runner, runner, flush
That flushed his dreams down the toilet
Then he decided to try his luck at the Red Bull EmCee comp'
It didn't go so damn smooth
I bet you thought you were gonna win the whole contest
Nope, no can do/NoCanDo
Yo, so that's when he broke up with his underage midget girlfriend
Yo, cause he heard she turned 18
I guess 14 and 15 were cool, but 18 just ain't his scene
Cause when The Saurus says she likes girls that rock Baby Phat
He ain't talking about the clothing line, he means he likes little girls who still got they baby fat
Homie, I bet you that little girl didn't even let you get past first base
And by the way, what the f** were you even thinking trying to hit that in the first place?
{slight choke}
Yo, really you gotta wonder, was she even 18 yet
You used to pick her up at the elementary school by the swing set
And your raps are corny face it
This Peteyphile (pedophile) crashes sweet 16 birthday parties and tries to play Scattergories naked
You're a statutory rapist
You should be wearing an electronic ankle monitor and a mandatory bracelet
[Round 1: The Saurus]
Yo, that was dope
A whole round of sh** that isn't even true
I'ma make sure this b**h will eat his food through an intravenous tube
Yo, you can talk about me getting p**y but that's what you didn't need to do
I f** a girl, all you f** is the b**h you bring with you
Now back in March I started writing for the winner of the Grand Prix
But then you won...so I had to start considering a plan B
Something to hold it down for all my King Of The Dot heads
And get revenge for my homie Pesci, the king...of the dot heads
Listen, this f**ing f*ggot made a video blog saying how he got no love for me
But he's too much of a two face p**y to say that sh** in front of me
Cause publicly you're all respectful like, "You'se a legend, it's an honor."
Meanwhile I'm f**ing offended that he's the best that you can offer
Give me Patrick Stay, Bishop, Bender, Happy Face of Kid Twist
Give me a dozen other cats who deserve a match in place of this b**h
sh**, I'll take a younger up and comer, any person with more talent
You're 32 and work at a furniture store Alex
Real talk
f*ggots like you are the reason why I think this sh**'s a joke
Making call out videos after you drink and sniff some coke
Mad cause I've done so much travelling that I'ma have to find a summer home
While you're too scared to battle rhyme or rap outside your comfort zone
Look, now I've gone across the globe making this bigger as a battle league
You haven't given sh** you just contribute to the f*ggotry
And just to make this sissy b**h a little bit more mad at me
That's my fiance, she's Canadian, I'm winning automatically
[Round 2: Arcane]
Are you done spitting those boring lines?
Cause I'm sick of hearing this motherf**er corny rhymes
And if I'm supposed to be the old guy in this battle how come you like you're 49?
Now, my apologizes to the Charron dick riders, but this league needs a rightful champ
At least Petey here is old enough to take his f**ing beating like a man
I rep the 905 but I got love for my Scarborough fam'
You park at middle school parking lots in an unmarked van
I bet it must be hard for your fans
You've been doing this battle sh** for years, you got the voice of the Marlboro Man
But you'll never be a marketable brand
So recently Pete went and tried to get himself a show business agent
Trying to get his face out there, but the phone hasn't been ringing
Yo, you still mad cause you didn't get on Jersey Shore?
Well quit b**hing at your agent
Imagine Pete on Jersey Shore like, "This is the situation."
This muhf**a got cupboards filled with snacks
And he plans on eating 'em all
That's how he got so fat, he can't even see when he pees in his balls
I bet you would be great if rap didn't have breathing involved
But it's only right you get winded after those punches cause you're the fat Steven Seagal
Straight up, back in the day yo, Seagal used to come through blazing
Looks like you gave up all that kung fu training for your junk food craving
So when you were wearing that UFC belt I thought it was highly outta place
Mixed martial artists might get cauliflower ears but you got a cauliflower face
I said yo, and for a dude like you that plays no limit high stakes
You'd think he could present himself in a civilized state
You made fat jokes against Madness, who are you to criticize weight?
This is what happens when you start every day with chicken fried steak
That's true
He'd be cool if he just...I don't know, concentrate, lost the weight
Hit a treadmill, sh** do some jumping jacks, walk in place
Instead he walked to the Cash N Curry ordered six of the largest plate
Loe Pesci's dad had to come out and tell him "fu*k OFF FALAFEL FACE!"
[Round 2: The Saurus]
Hell yeah, I gamble for a living
The last time someone tried to roll the dice with me I became champ of your division
By unanimous decision
I don't care how many f*ggot kids from Hamilton are with him
We'll find an ambulance that fits him
Yo, I'm a man, a myth, a legend
You're a grandpa with depression
'Bout to have another plastic hip to add to his collection
You're a damsel in distress who knows the answer to the question
"Why's a dude as white as you doing his Canibus impression?"
Cause you're a f*ggot
The accent when you rap is fake
I'll catch a case for homicide
Because if I ask Arcane to act his age, he'd probably die
Father Time you're playing yourself, fake as hell
sh** I'll have Skelly's wifey prove that you can't handle ladies well
JVL
Yo, I have a grasp on greatness, you're a f*ggot and a racist
So who's an act, who's a rapper? Well let's add up all the wages
See it's sad cause Arcane ain't old, he's actually ancient
That's why every match he's in is called "A battle of the ages"
[Round 3: Arcane]
Look, talking 'bout how you got that chain
When you battled Hollohan you said
"The Saurus is a combo of Boudreau and Luongo."
I'm just trying to figure out what the f** does that have to do with being born in Toronto?
Real talk, real talk
They both born in Montreal so, that sh** was horribly wrong yo
I beat The Saurus loves the black co*ks but I ain't talking about Chicago
So f** this ignorant American, go drink an Old Milwaukee
You don't know sh** about this country and you don't know sh** about our hockey
And if you ever was a goal tender I got a question for your homily a**
How many pucks you take in the face before they finally invented the goalie mask?
After my last battle they gave me a trophy and a greasy a** check
Now I came to take the chain off this muhf**as greasy a** neck
Yo, you so greasy I think it's funny how it says Greece on your pa**port
You always eating at the airport getting grease on your pa**port
Muhf**a you so greasy I bet you could play Slip N Slide on this linoleum
Muhf**er, you so greasy you should be the poster boy for British Petroleum
Cause that mug is a spectacle, I bet it reeks like the pumps at the Texaco
And secrets more barrels of oil a day than the Gulf Of Mexico
And you ain't an Oakland Raider, you always been a traitor
How you live right beside L.A. and bet doe against the Lakers?
And now Grind Time is going to sh**, well you were born to s** dick
But Lush gave more exposure to Diz' and Okwerdz so The Saurus jumped ship
Yo, you see what happens when this p**y don't get what he wants Lush?
This cry baby jumped directly on King Of The Dots nuts
Well I ain't buying it, I don't believe that American hype
Especially when you dress like the average American stereotype
You fat, lazy, stupid, he's ugly and he's spoiled
Thinking he could just, come in here and soil on another man's soil
This muhf**er ain't loyal
In Canada we don't bomb our own buildings to justify invading other countries for their oil
[Round 3: The Saurus]
Yo, it must be hard performing bars so boring
He's only battling me so he's got story to tell his grandkids...tomorrow morning
Now in this f*ggots video he said he got family in Toronto
So do I tonight, Skelly, Dirt, Dizaster, Avacado
You got an avalanche of illness
My family consists of five cats to smash your grill with plus the cameraman to film it
You fronting like you popping hammers on some steel sh**
I'll put a hole in you using a hammer and a drill bit
I could end you in a minute
So the next time you pay your fam' a cemetery visit, you're getting buried in it
That's a fact
Now listen, I guess that I'm a skeptic cause I've never been convinced you're great
Suggestion, you pathetic wigger, get your fricking image straight
You said you're pitching weight, the set you living isn't safe
But get a glimpse of him and that's not what the evidence would indicate
You never went to Princeton, p**y b**h you went to Princeton (nah prison)
Where your friends were kids who all had a resemblance to Timberlake
The level that I hit will make you question your religious faith
I want the best in the division it's time to get the definition straight
Yo, this is my title I ain't gonna let him take it
Kid Twist let me borrow it only cause he was only like, "I'll let you make it into a friendship bracelet."