[Round 1: Lil G]
Yo Dizaster
You're a b**h rapper and a sh** packer
Give up, pimp master
When my ho's get cabs, he's the dispatcher
Yo, you can get back with your b**h
After she gets lathered up in jizz batter
Her chin crack and get fractured on impact when I dick slap her
C'mon guys, I mean, my co*k weighs hundreds of pounds
When it thumps on the ground it makes a thunderous sound
I dug a b**h out, I went from the c*nt to the brown
I dig from her bu*t to her mouth in a circular motion
I call that "f**ing around"
Your b**h calls that "the most gully of miracles"
But don't sweat it
But for fact cause she takes my co*k in her cereal
See, yo the last time I hit it, I caught a venereal
So I guess we're not the only ones dealing with Caustic materials
Yo, the minute I rip it up, her vagina's watery
Cause I roll with such a big knob, nobody wants to try to talk to me
See, the real f**ing Mayan prophecy
Was that I already won, one kid and this ain't China's policy
I say, so f** your f**ing b**h, I don't give a f**
See my nuts will crush your f**ing face
See you can't rap, see we already know that
See everybody's gonna cop cause you're Dizaster, you're the beast
See you represent your van, I represent Van City
You represent L.A., so go back to where you came from
See Van' is my city, this is why I relate
So guess what? Today's your day
[Round 1: Dizaster]
Alright, I need everybody to sing with me
Lil G, Lil G
My did is as big as me
(Lil G, Lil G)
I have to fold it in half and hold it with both of my hands when I pee
(Lil G, Lil G)
They thought I wouldn't make it but I'm headlining over Tricky P
Yo, signing up to this battle was like an open d**h wish
Cause his f**ing flow is reckless
He'll take Mad Child and Snak The Ripper and eat 'em both for breakfast
A bo*er breakfast!
You guys are f**ing evil
Why would you even want to see this?
You got me all the way out here battling with Slim Premature Fetus Jesus
He doesn't have friends cause he doesn't need sh**
Cause he is best friends with his own penis
Goddamn it, why the f** is this fetus talking?
This is what Steven Hawkins would look like if he was walking
Your presence in this game is strong enough to impact lives
When kids see you they start screaming and running cause they thought they just saw one of them creatures from The Hills Have Eyes
He said, "I got a big head, but it's not as big as my dick head!"
Goddamn you f**ing bobblehead, looking like a f**ing rat with whiskers
They got me battling with a f**ing Master Splinter action figure
He's Little G, the leader of Van City and T.O
Had a dick battle with Ron Jeremy and he bodied him 3-0
[Round 2: Lil' G]
Yo, this penis is equal to none
I'm inconceivably hung
It rises in the west and sets east of the sun
I can't list all the achievements at once
But check your girl's p**y if you wanna see what its done!
It started growing when I was a seed in my mum
That's when the inches stopped and the meters begun
The hospital would keep me to do research for months
To the joy of many nurses eager to fu*k
I mean, I put hoes in rehab to keep it a buck
Cause my skeet is a drug
Now b**hes fiend for the cum
Yo, I'm a midget percussionist how I reach for the drum
With shells for this terrorist, he can see 51
I got a b**h out in east Van', I hit it like a speed bag
See you thought your chick was the bomb? You should've seen the one that G had (jihad)
You know how I just said, I'm putting hoes in rehab
Yo, called your girl last night, I think she's ready for a relapse
Cause she gives me dome, like half a circle
Her head was relieving like an Advil commercial
See I stuffed up her a**, a squirrel, a cat and a gerbil
And now she has a red rim, like the gla**es on Urkel
What? Are you surprised? Cause look at what I'm packing
I put it in her a** and she took it like a champion
Let me catch her prancing, two shorties I be slamming
Dick hanging out the window, it be looking like it dancing
[Round 2: Dizaster]
Goddamn, it is literally impossible to beat him
f**, why me man?
Got me battling with this little f**ing Wee Man
My little f**ing homie he's 3'10", have you seen him?
If he was part of the f**ing Two And A Half Men it would called Three Men
He's the white 50, trying to pick a fight with me
Look like a dwarf so I'm not talking c**aine when I say I have the Snow White with me
Used to work for Santa Claus at the North Pole but got fired quickly
Cause I gave his wife hickeys!
And now I spend the rest of my day in a tree trunk making mixtapes and baking Rice Krispies
f**ing little Hobbit, could probably fit him in my little pocket
A f**ing embryonic midget bar smith
A little f**ing gimp straight outta kindergarten
Picture him in his apartment
Sitting there with his little retarded helmet with the spinner on it
f**ing holding up a coloring book with saliva spit dripping off it
With a f**ing scribble drawing of me as a stick figure as his finished project
Little G, dick so big all the b**hes want it
That's his only single topic
So big Lorena Bobbitt tried to f**ing chop it but she broke her scissors on it
I know these are some f**ed up jokes, some people over here are probably offended
I don't give a f** dawg, I couldn't help the forehead jokes, I mean I could not help it
This guy looks like he was born with a RoboCop helmet
I bet if you stared at a spoon long enough you could probably bend it
Got all f**ed up looking and I'm trying to figure out how
It's like his mom was pregnant for three months and he's like, "f** it mom I'm coming out now."
Man you look like Fievel
Alright time, f** it
[Round 3: Lil G]
I need a documentary called Legends Of co*k
Yo, the head of this knob will put you in the presence of God
See, tried to park at my apartment, took up 70 spots
I had to rent out a dock and put it next to my yacht
See, dick like sediment rock
Mean I'm getting head in the drop
It never gets soft
See I drink President Scotch
You drink Peppermint Schnapps
Shout outs to my sponsors Heckler and Crotch
Cause I don't know nothing 'bout the Grape Street Crips
See the only life I know is this 80 inch
I mean, ask the last man that ate these clips
See I keep the ratchet here in Van', like the A-Team's whip
See all you do, is a bunch of yelling and screaming
But I ain't gonna talk loud when this metal is speaking
I mean, forget about my whole genital region
Just the head of my penis could span across the entire desert in Egypt
The same place you say your pledge of allegiance
See, don't play me like a Billy Boondocks
Because...unless you wanna see a repeat of Big and 2Pac
See that's all Gravy, I keep a biscuit in my tube sock
And I call that hammer "Hanson" cause I let that blicky "Mmmbop"
I can't tell if you're an Arab or a white man
But if I see you at the airport I'm switching up my flight plan
Yo, I got this, best believe I f** my fans
It's Lil G...know who the f** I am!
[Round 3: Dizaster]
I said listen
Your head's so big couldn't fit in a kufi
You have more brain than the b**h Lucy from that movie
And you got great alien swag
If the sun hit you and casted a shadow on the wall it would look like Roger from American Dad
And he's lying, he doesn't have no girlfriend either
On Facebook he says he's dating "Angela" but nobody's seen ever her
That's because there's no actual b**h, he's in a relationship with his own wiener
You go on f**ing Facebook and change the status to "in a relationship with my own dick"
He's on some cold sh**
He's like, "My dick is my favorite person in the world
It talks to me when I'm alone
When I'm asleep and b**hes call me, it picks up the phone
Goddamn, I'm choking now
Oh oh, the words won't come out
It looks like my palms are sweaty, my knees are weak and arms are heavy
There's falafel on my sweater already
It was shawarma it wasn't mom's spaghetti
Hold on we're not ready
This guy over here trying to stop me
I'm getting f**ing cut off by an Afghani Ziggy Marley
f**ing uh, little f**ing test tube baby
I'm f**ing done, f**ing...