[Round 1: Knamelis]
I've been waiting for this sh** Twist, since back in the WRC days
When you skipped out on the prelims and didn't show up with your teammate
That was those, "it's suppose to be freestyle" years
But you cheated us like a cheapskate and studied all of our footage while hiding behind a screen name
But that's okay you had us that day Alex, really I got no excuses
Only thing is I've grown huge you haven't even shown improvement
I mean you still sound like a f**ing dweeb when you talk
And you still look like you're walking on stilts cause you don't bend your knees when you walk
I mean you rapped once since your last battle Twist?
Me? I finished a CD I know people were sick of waiting
Created a judging system my mission was innovation
Supported a scene, recorded my dreams, basically I'm staying active
You come out once or twice a year like an inflatable mattress
This sh** isn't debatable I'm stating the facts
You only came back to being active cause you thought Drake might be at this
[?] actress
I'm like, this arrogant white, Aryan stereotype
Character spits a lot of sh** I'd be embarra**ed to write
He's like, "Honey, I know I normally where my hair in a spike
But tonight I'll wear a toque. That's hilarious, right?"
Don't you dare in your life, go and compare me to him please
His whole gimmick his hair his lyrics ain't even skin deep
But while we're on the subject, my hair game sh**s on yours
I mean, are you even f**ing trying Twist?
My hair told me to tell your hair to quit hiding like a b**h
Me? I look like a Mad Men advertiser in a cla**ic painting
You look like a frazzled grade A kid at his graduation
Twist will bust to pixie cut and look so much like Tanya O
That when he comes to Toronto, Soul Khan's like, "WHOA"
So if we're talking off of the top, in both ways I'm just more polished man
My hair will win (h**n) like the veins on the arms Hollohan
[?] style is so deceiving
Now watch this egghead get cracked, this battle's already over...easy
[Round 1: Kid Twist]
You wanna compare me to Tanya O? But I'm still the real king and you're hot trash
So you're more like Tanya O, a b**h on the King Of The Dot staff
[Tanya O]
Hey!
[Kid Twist]
And your name is Knamelis
{Slow claps}
That's comedy greatness
The King Of The Dot roster is about to have a name less
And Jake's d**h will make his alias make sense
There won't be a name etched to say where his grave rests
Take him to a pro life supporter rally
One look and they'll vote for abortion gladly
It's clear to us you were born a tranny
With more b**h in you than a [?] family
It's an honor I'm biting your food I'm Gordon Ramsey
Your girl's a guaranteed f** like a foreign nanny
But her face is pock marked with some horrid acne
She's a breakout artist, let's award a Grammy
The thing is, tall girls have deeper twats cause their proportions increase
This is a scientific fact
So dudes with small dicks pull chicks with short physiques
Cause in a shallow c*nt it feels like you dig deep
So keep that in mind when I say his girl is a pygmy
And my girl is six feet
Your chick is Lil' Wayne's height so at checkout she gets bothered more
Cigarettes, alcohol there's nothing they don't card her for (Carter 4)
I use body part and gore like to paint the Pollack board
His blood splashes on a canvas I'm just practicing the Art of War
You're Peter Pan, throw hooks that Neverland
All that X-Box won't help you connect (Kinect) with you hands
I blackout in rap bouts, k** the rep and the fans
It's like the Breaking Bad finale, when that bell rings you're dead where you stand
We're both nerds so watch the bigger nerd bully this b**h
You're a fairy, we should call him Fern Gully The Kid
You wanna diss my hair but you bit that and my fashion and clothes from me
Of course you'd reference Drake you can't relate, your family is old money
[Round 2: Knamelis]
Son, how you gonna look like Fry and sound like an excited Zapp Brannigan?
This battle rapper's swagger jacking a Gap mannequin
And you're so scared of urban people, you could never take the Smack route
In fact he almost backed out of this battle cause he heard there would be blacks out...too
To prepare for this I quit everything with Twist in it
I quit eating licorice and bought a bong so I would quit twisting spliffs
But how you gonna call yourself Twist when I'm the one with the twisted flow?
Words woven intricate twisting like women's hip in calypso
You just go, 4/4 every time that's a Twist flow
While I twist slow like a rotisserie pig at a spit roast
You just know, there's no chance of you seeing Knamelis
Being brave until I hit him with that "something something" like DNA did
Listen, I know that it's quite strange but he actually fights great
Cause his arms are so skinny he can slice faces like razors or Jason's knife blades
But you're such a f**ing bird, you'll die migrating through the United States
And get sniped by a retired man trying to fly away and hibernate
Promo time, new album out, Martin McFly's the name
Try it up on cyberspace, you can get that Fly on the web like a spider's fangs
He'll listen to it tonight with the misses as lies awake beside the fireplace
Crying like, "Why would I try to battle Knamelis man? That guy is great!"
But back to you though, how you gonna go write a book when you can't even lift one?
You drink with a straw at the bar cause you can't even pick up your cup unless at least like half of your drinks done
And how you gonna front like you real live and you rhyming tight
When you only ever dropped science cause your father is Bill Nye The Science Guy
So go ahead and step into my range I'll hit ya
My red dot got him contorted on the ground now that's a f**ing game of Twister
See I got jokes too, but it ain't as easy to rap and I'm way too seasoned in that
So go back to your sh**ty blog nobody's reading that crap
I don't need a gimmick in my rap cause my signature is facts
Get ready for a minute and a half of a sh**ty comedian act
[Round 2: Kid Twist]
Your b**h looks like a Keebler elf
I bet she tastes like tea biscuits when you eat her out
I give her c**aine dick, after the blow she can't feel her mouth
And when you rap, not a single line impresses me
You say I'm a Gap mannequin, you would know, you're the f**ing guy who dresses me
And I think Megatron produces the music this loser makes
It transforms speakers to weapons against the human race
Once Martin McFly drops no one will back your future tapes
I'll Biff Tannen you before your automatic shoes can lace
He's a monster, look at this brute's size
A deformed cyclops born with two eyes
He knew I'd dissect him that's why his expression is so uncomfortable
You can see the signs on this clown's face like a Juggalo
His little sister is legal and very hot
For him it's a scary thought
But f** what Jacob thinks my favorite drink is cherry pop
I'm saying, her hymens done if I make her drawers fall
So I'm not a character on stage, aware that it's a play when I break her fourth wall
You make love to b**hes I hate f**
Are those black bags cause you stayed up or is your chick abusive and bruising your face up
Or are you trying bite Dizaster's scary Arabic swag
Don't airports tell you never carry a terrorist's bags
I'm Vince Vaughn I'll crash your wedding to get head from s*uts
When I clink on my gla** then it's time for the next to s**
Fist your broad in the bathroom til someone catches us
On some iPhone sh**, I'll put my hand in the wrong place and f** your whole reception up
That b**h banged so many rappers before you had her they f**ed both her tubes clean
And stretched her out til it was painful like an overused scheme
So she's always been a fornicator
So if you're mad right now cause history has a strange way of repeating itself...sorry player
[Round 3: Knamelis]
You try to spit that Dizaster sh**, man I doubt it
Yeah I stole the bags under his eyes and you stole his f**ing outfit
You actually have the worst voice in battle rap
Real talk
Like are you people hearing this nob?
Here's a thought, why don't you energy behind those lyrics you drop?
I don't think we have souls I'm not a believer in God
So it's ironic you're getting bodied by the spirit I got
Lorrrrdy!
Cause I'm animated, you're laminated
You're the blandest flavor while I'm candy painted like cars tipping on Atlanta pavement
Just don't have the stamina to stand with Knamelis
Think you beast? I'm a panoramic frame of angry animals in cages
So I'm just a better addition, you said it I said it different
I edit the metaphysics, don't ever go get it twisted
Go get him a medical specialist and some better writtens
I'm getting my second wind in a second I'll leave you winded
My record setting attendance attentive, intending to witness me stomping his dimples in with my Timberlands
I hope you aren't sensitive or get offended cause I'm genuine When I say I'm taking this b**h out like a distinguished gentleman
And you're so feminine that you and your wife look like two sisters
I bet when you're in the bedroom with her...you do scissors
And speaking of spouse, heard last week you got freaked on the couch
Your legs were up behind your head your girl was eating YOU out
But that's the cheap route
There's nothing worse than getting overly personal
So I'ma go back to verses about how you got a beak for a snout
Like that sh** is just the worst motherf**er
And your Adam's apple is so big bet you can't even burp motherf**er
I already ate you this is just dessert motherf**er
And I heard Hitchco*k's estate is suing you cause you a Bird motherf**er
Versus Fresco you had a cat fight
Versus 360 it was a bird fight
But I bet my bottom dollar you still ain't even had your first fight
You got a 2Pac tattoo across your chest that says "Nerd Life"
Pa** you on the street you clutch your purse tight
You carried Rich on your back while you were earning your stripes
He carried you on that 2 on 2 like it's the circle of life
But you're a circus act, you never spat a real verse in your life
And your personal bio has four words: If Urkle was white
I'm perfect precise every one of my shots hit
Top tier drops quick, how's that for a f**ing plot, Twist?
[Round 3: Kid Twist]
Stop talking like you're the best when you speak
We both know you're a heck of a geek
You keep calling me a bird but you just tried to give me a peck on the cheek
I said yo
Your chick's a** is smoking
But when you go for an*l she tells you "bu*t out"
b**h got an Uno Lavoz swag
When you show your dick she be like, "...what else?"
Me? I hit the strip club to watch that chick spreading her thighs
Wait til she recognizes me and look her dead in the eye
You play Moses, skip commandments she never abides
But she treats me like God when I make it rain bread from the sky
She's [?] in s** so you'll never get to keep her
I'm a Toronto October, turn your ex into a screamer
Femur's so lose your dick gets shoved inside and won't even touch the sides
If s** was Operation you'd win every f**ing time
It's like we hit the pub and we all drank heavy
Then I miss my darts aiming hit this mark's brain, my bar game's deadly
When they fly in cats to battle me I diss their nationality
Think cause you're Canadian I'm gonna change my strategy?
Wrong
f** Canada!
You fruity bunch of lumberjacks
Half your country's French what the f** is up with that?
You think your hockey fights are tough? It's just an act
You only knuckle up and scrap when you're covered up with pads
f** Canada
And you fit all our stereotypes
You have a beaver in lieu of nuts, you take your hair and mousse it up and you always canoe your blunts
And by the way, your city thinks you're a piece of sh**
The Toronto skyline is what a s*uts call him, "One ball and a needle dick"
I f** Bettys and Veronicas, you only eat like jug heads
Should've stuck with judging cause I'll give him the justice this Judge Dredd
But you bet your life trying to get your stripes
And got k**ed in a bloodbath like Dexter's wife