Today I shall venture forth into the world and have a bilateral adventure.
I will split into two pieces.
Half of me will walk for many miles.
The other half shall remain quite still.
Then both parts of me shall explode.
Not simultaneously, but almost.
Then a moose will come into my home driving a tank.
Then an angel will fall from the sky and grant me three wishes.
I will wish for a car, and a boat and a house.
I will get them, but I will be sad because I should've wished for a bigger car and a bigger boat and a bigger house.
Then I'll realize that I should've wished for world peace, plenty of money for everyone, and no more psychological problems.
You live and learn.