I will slur
And heel
And hem
And haw
I will eat a monkey paw
When you call me up and command me
To come over to your house
For s** and tea biscuits
I shall clandestinely drop my cumberbund
Down the dumbwaiter chute
Lutes will serenade us like liquid lemonade
You will glisten like newborn snow
And I will listen
Like a clairvoyant nipple clamp
It will be s** like nobody has ever had it before
In the history of postmodern lovemaking
It will be s**, even if it isn't
It will be s**, even if only in theory
Even if it's only pantomine
Even if it's just a memory
Or a dream
Or a symphonic approximation
After a summer of autonomous sodomy
And National Geographic specials
About the pretty animals
That use other animals as food by eating them
On television
But we shouldn't even watch television
We should just have s**
Epoch making
Earth shaking
Teeth chattering
Dish clattering
Fish frying
Eye popping
Never stopping
Bunny hopping
Toe tapping
Joseph Papping s**
Shakespeare in the park kinda s**
D train ride to Coney Island vacation kinda s**
Clandestine in the airplane lavatory kind of s**
Olympic marathon s**
All the different ways that we feel like having s**
We should
Until we grow old and bored and disillusioned
Then let us rekindle our feelings
Forget our despair and our celibate nonsense
And do it like bunnyrats till the cows come home to roost
So call me sometime
And let's have s**