[NARRATOR]
Once upon a time...
In a far-off kingdom
Lived a young maiden
A sad young lad
And a childless baker
With his wife
[CINDERELLA]
I wish...
More than anything
More than life
More than j**els
[JACK]
I wish...
More than life
More than anything
[BAKER & WIFE]
I wish...
More than the moon
[BAKER'S WIFE]
I wish... [CINDERELLA]
The King is giving a Festival
I wish to go to the Festival
And the Ball...
More than anything
I wish to go to the Festival
[BAKER]
More than life
More than riches
[BAKER'S WIFE]
More than anything
[BAKER]
I wish we had a child
[BAKER'S WIFE]
I want a child
I wish we might have a child
[JACK]
I wish...
I wish my cow would give us some milk
Please, pal
Squeeze, pal
I wish you'd give us some milk
Or even cheese [JACK/CINDERELLA/BAKER'S WIFE]
I wish..
[STEPMOTHER]
You wish to go to the Festival?
[NARRATOR]
The poor girl's mother had died--
[STEPMOTHER]
You, Cinderella, the Festival?
You wish to go to the Festival?
[FLORINDA]
What, you, Cinderella, the Festival?
The Festival?!
[LUCINDA]
What, you wish to go to the Festival?!
[STEPMOTHER/STEPSISTERS]
The Festival?!
The King's Festival!?
[NARRATOR]
--and her father had taken for his new wife--
[STEPMOTHER]
The Festival!!!???
[NARRATOR]
--a woman with two daughters of her own
[FLORINDA]
Look at your nails!
[LUCINDA]
Look at your dress!
[STEPMOTHER]
People would laugh at you--
[CINDERELLA] Nevertheless--
I still wish to go
To the Festival. [STEPMOTHER]
You still wish to go
To the Festival-- [STEPSISTERS]
She still wants to go
To the Festival-- [CINDERELLA/STEPMOTHER/STEPSISTERS]
--and dance before the Prince!
(They chortle with laughter musically, then fall about out of control.)
[NARRATOR]
All three were beautiful of face, but vile and black of heart. Jack, on the other hand, had no father, and his mother--
[JACK'S MOTHER]
I wish..
[NARRATOR]
Well, she was not quite beautiful--
[JACK'S MOTHER]
I wish my son were not a fool
I wish my house was not a mess
I wish the cow was full of milk
I wish the walls were full of gold
I wish a lot of things..
(to Jack) You foolish child! What in heaven's name are you doing with the cow inside the house?
[JACK]
A warm environment might be just what Milky White needs to produce his milk
[JACK'S MOTHER]
It's a she! How many times do I have to tell you? Only "she"s can give milk
[Two knocks on the Baker's door; Wife opens door; it is Little Red Riding Hood (LRRH)]
[BAKER'S WIFE]
Why, come in, little girl
[LRRH]
I wish..
It's not for me
It's for my granny in the woods
A loaf of bread, please--
To bring my poor old hungry
Granny in the woods..
[Insistent]
Just a loaf of bread, please..
[Baker gives her a loaf of bread.]
[NARRATOR]
Cinderella's stepmother had a surprise for her
[Stepmother throws a pot of lentils into the fireplace]
[STEPMOTHER]
I have emptied a pot of lentils into the ashes for you. If you have picked them out again in two hours' time, you shall go to the ball with us
[LRRH]
And perhaps a sticky bun?..
Or four?..
[CINDERELLA]
Birds in the sky
Birds in the eaves
In the leaves
In the fields
In the castles and ponds..
[LRRH]
..and a few of those pies
Please..
[CINDERELLA]
Come, little birds
Down from the eaves
And the leaves
Over fields
Out of castles and ponds..
[JACK]
No, Squeeze, pal..
[CINDERELLA]
Ahhh..
[birds descend to the fireplace]
Quick, little birds
Flick through the ashes
Pick and peck, but swiftly
Sift through the ashes
Into the pot..
[JACK'S MOTHER]
Listen well, son. Milky-White must be taken to market
[JACK]
But, Mother, no! He's the best cow--
[JACK'S MOTHER]
Was. Was! SHE'S been dry for a week. We've no food nor money, and no choice but to sell her while she can still command a price
[JACK]
But Milky-White is my best friend in the whole world!
[JACK'S MOTHER]
Look at her!
There are bugs on her dugs
There are flies in her eyes
There's a lump on her rump
Big enough to be a hump--
[JACK]
But--
[JACK'S MOTHER]
Son
We've no time to sit and dither
While her withers wither with her--
And no one keeps a cow for a friend!
Sometimes I fear you're touched
[LRRH has been compulsively eating sweets at the Baker's house; she now swallows, wiping her hands and mouth.]
[LRRH]
Into the woods
It's time to go
I hate to leave
I have to, though
Into the woods--
It's time, and so
I must begin my journey
Into the woods
And through the trees
To where I am
Expected, ma'am
Into the woods
To Grandmother's house--
[mouth full]
Into the woods
To Grandmother's house--
[BAKER'S WIFE]
You're certain of your way?
[LRRH]
The way is clear
The light is good
I have no fear
Nor no one should
The woods are just trees
The trees are just wood
I sort of hate to ask it
But do you have a basket?
[BAKER]
Don't stray and be late
[BAKER'S WIFE]
And save some of those sweets for Granny!
[LRRH]
Into the woods
And down the dell
The path is straight
I know it well
Into the woods
And who can tell
What's waiting on the journey?
Into the woods
To bring some bread
To Granny who
Is sick in bed
Never can tell
What lies ahead
For all that I know
She's already dead
But into the woods
Into the woods
Into the woods
To Grandmother's house
And home before dark!
[CINDERELLA]
Fly, birds
Back to the sky
Back to the eaves
And the leaves
And the fields
And the--
[FLORINDA]
Hurry up and do my hair, Cinderella!
[to Lucinda]
Are you really wearing that?
[LUCINDA]
Here, I found a little tear, Cinderella!
[to Florinda]
Can't you hide it with a hat?
[CINDERELLA]
You look beautiful
[FLORINDA]
I know
[LUCINDA]
She means me
[FLORINDA]
[to Cinderella]: Put it in a twist
[LUCINDA]
Who will be there?
[She and Florinda continue babbling underneath.]
[CINDERELLA]
[to herself]: Mother said be good
Father said be nice
That was always their advice
So be nice, Cinderella
Good, Cinderella
Nice good good nice--
Florinda: Tighter!
Cinderella: What's the good of being good
If everyone is blind
And you're always left behind?
Never mind, Cinderella
Kind Cinderella--
[accenting each word with a twist of a strand of hair]
Nice good good kind good nice--
[FLORINDA]
[screams and slaps Cinderella]: Not that tight!
[CINDERELLA]
Sorry
[FLORINDA]
Clod
[LUCINDA]
Hee he hee--
[Florinda glares at her]
Hee hee-- [stops]
[NARRATOR]
Because the baker had lost his mother and father in a baking accident--well, at least that is what he believed--he was eager to have a family of his own, and concerned that all efforts until now had failed
[Knock on Baker's door]
[BAKER]
Who might that be?
[BAKER'S WIFE]
We have sold our last loaf of bread..
[BAKER]
It's the witch from next door!
[Witch enters]
[BAKER & WIFE]
We have no bread
[WITCH]
Of course you have no bread!
[BAKER]
What do you wish?
[WITCH]
It's not what I wish. It's what you wish. (Points to Wife's belly) Nothing cooking in there now, is there?
[NARRATOR]
The old enchantress went on to tell the couple that she had placed a spell on their house
[BAKER]
What spell?
[WITCH]
In the past, when you were no more than a babe, your father brought his young wife and you to this cottage. They were a handsome couple, but not handsome neighbors. You see, your mother was with child and she had developed an unusual appetite. She took one look at my beautiful garden and told your father that what she wanted, more than anything in the world, was
Greens, greens, and nothing but greens:
Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery
Asparagus and watercress and
Fiddleferns and lettuce--!
He said 'all right,'
But it wasn't, quite
Cause I caught him in the autumn
In my garden one night!
He was robbing me
Raping me
Rooting through my rutabaga
Raiding my arugula and
Ripping up the rampion
(My champion! My favorite!)--
I should have laid a spell on him right there
Could have turned him into stone
Or a dog, or a chair
Or a sn-- [drifts off into a momentary trance]
But I let him have the rampion
I'd lots to spare
In return, however
I said 'Fair is fair;
You can let me have the baby
That your wife will bear
And we'll call it square.'
[BAKER]
I had a brother?
[WITCH]
No. But you had a sister
[NARRATOR]
But the witch refused to tell him any more of his sister. Not even that her name was Rapunzel. She went on:
[WITCH]
I thought I had been more than reasonable, and that we all might live happily ever after. But how was I to know what your father had also hid in his pocket?! You see, when I had inherited that garden my mother had warned me that I would be punished if I ever were to lose any of the... beans!
[BAKER & WIFE]
Beans?
[WITCH]
The SPECIAL beans
I let him go
I didn't know
He'd stolen my beans!
I was watching him crawl
Back over the wall--!
And then bang! Crash!
And the lightning flash!
And--well, that's another story
Never mind--
Anyway, at last
The big day came
And I made my claim
"Oh, don't take away the baby,"
They shrieked and screeched
But I did
And I hid her
Where she'll never be reached
And your father cried
And your mother died
When for extra measure--
I admit it was a pleasure--
I said, "Sorry
I'm still not mollified."
And I laid a little spell on them
You too, son
That your family tree would always be a barren one...
[laughs]
So there's no more fuss
And there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives--
You should see my nectarines!
But I'm telling you the same
I tell Kings and Queens:
Don't ever never ever
Mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans
[JACK'S MOTHER]
Now listen to me, Jack. Lead Milky-White to market and fetch the best price you can. Take no less than five pounds. Are you listening to me?
[JACK]
Yes
[JACK'S MOTHER]
Now how much are you to ask?
[JACK]
No more than five pounds
[she pinches his ear]
[JACK'S MOTHER/JACK]
Less! Than five
[JACK'S MOTHER]
Jack Jack Jack
Head in a sack
The house is getting colder
This is not a time for dreaming
Chimney-stack
Starting to crack
The mice are getting bolder
The floor's gone slack
Your mother's getting older
Your father's not back
And you can't just sit here dreaming pretty dreams
To wish and wait
From day to day
Will never keep
The wolves away
So into the woods
The time is now
We have to live
I don't care how
Into the woods
To sell the cow
You must begin the journey
Straight through the woods
And don't delay--
We have to face
The marketplace
Into the woods to journey's end--
[JACK]
Into the woods to sell a friend--
[JACK'S MOTHER]
Someday you'll have a real pet, Jack
[JACK]
A piggy?
[Mother shakes her head in disbelief]
[NARRATOR]
Meanwhile, the witch, for purposes of her own, explained how the baker might lift the spell:
Witch: You wish to have
The curse reversed?
I'll need a certain
Potion first
Go to the wood and bring me back:
One: the cow as white as milk
Two: the cape as red as blood
Three: the hair as yellow as corn
Four: the slipper as pure as gold
Bring me these before the chime
Of midnight
In three days' time
And you shall have
I guarantee
A child as perfect
As child can be
Go to the wood!
[disappears]
[STEPMOTHER]
Ladies, our carriage waits
[CINDERELLA]
Now may I go to the Festival?
[STEPMOTHER]
The Festival?
Darling, those nails!
Darling, those clothes!
Lentils are one thing but
Darling, with those
You'd make us the fools of the Festival
And mortify the Prince!
[CINDERELLA'S FATHER]
The carriage is waiting
[STEPMOTHER]
We must be gone
[they exit with a flourish]
[CINDERELLA]
Good night, Father
[he grunts and exits]
[CINDERELLA]
I wish...
[cries]
[BAKER]
Look what I found in Father's hunting jacket
[BAKER'S WIFE]
Six beans
[BAKER]
I wonder if they are the--
[BAKER'S WIFE]
Witch's beans? We'll take them with us
[BAKER]
No! You are not coming
[BAKER'S WIFE]
I know you are fearful of the woods at night
[BAKER]
The spell is on MY house
Only I can lift the spell
The spell is on MY house
[BAKER'S WIFE]
[over]: No, no, the spell is on OUR house
We must lift the spell together
The spell is on OUR house
[BAKER]
[Over]: No. You are not to come and that is final. Now, what am I to return with?
[BAKER'S WIFE]
[Annoyed]: You don't remember?
The cow as white as milk
The cape as red as blood
The hair as yellow as corn
The slipper as pure as gold--
[BAKER]
[memorizing]: The cow as white as milk
The cape as red as blood
The hair as yellow as corn
The slipper as pure as gold...
[NARRATOR]
[Over]: And so the baker, reluctantly, set off to meet the enchantress's demands. As for Cinderella:
[CINDERELLA]
I still wish to go to the Festival
But how am I ever to get to the Festival?
[BAKER]
[simultaneously]: The cow as white as milk
The cape as red as blood
The hair as yellow as corn--
[BAKER'S WIFE]
The slipper--
[BAKER]
The slipper as pure as gold...
[CINDERELLA]
[Over]: I know!
I'll visit Mother's grave
The grave at the hazel tree
And tell her I just want to
Go to the King's Festival...
[BAKER]
Baker: The cow, the cape
The slipper as pure as gold--
[BAKER'S WIFE]
The hair--!
[BAKER/CINDERELLA]
Into the woods
It's time to go
It may be all
In vain, you (I) know
Into the woods--
But even so
I have to take the journey
[BAKER & WIFE/CINDERELLA]
Into the woods
The path is straight
You (I) know it well
But who can tell--?
[BAKER & WIFE]
Into the woods to lift the spell--
[CINDERELLA]
Into the woods to visit Mother--
[BAKER'S WIFE]
Into the woods to fetch the things--
[BAKER]
To make the potion--
[CINDERELLA]
To go to the Festival--
[BAKER & WIFE/CINDERELLA/JACK & MOTHER]
Into the woods
Without regret
The choice is made
The task is set
Into the woods
But not forget-
Ting why I'm (you're) on the journey
Into the woods
To get my (our) wish
I don't care how
The time is now
[JACK'S MOTHER]
Into the woods to sell the cow--
[JACK]
Into the woods to get the money--
[BAKER'S WIFE]
Into the woods to lift the spell-
[BAKER]
To make the potion--
[CINDERELLA]
To go to the Festival--
[LRRH]
Into the woods to Grandmother's house...
Into the woods to Grandmother's house...
[ALL]
The way is clear
The light is good
I have no fear
Nor no one should
The woods are just trees
The trees are just wood
No need to be afraid there--
[BAKER/CINDERELLA]
There's something in the glade there...
[ALL]
Into the woods
Without delay
But careful not
To lose the way
Into the woods
Who knows what may
Be lurking on the journey?
Into the woods
To get the thing
That makes it worth
The journeying
Into the woods--
[STEPMOTHER/STEPSISTERS]
To see the King--
[JACK & MOTHER]
To sell the cow--
[BAKER & WIFE]
To make the potion--
[ALL]
To see-
To sell-
To get--
To bring--
To make--
To lift--
To go to the Festival--!
Into the woods!
Into the woods!
Into the woods
Then out of the woods
And home before dark!