[Queens, New York. The scene opens with the camera following from behind a teenager (PETER PARKER) as he goes into his apartment. He walks in with his earphones. On the couch are AUNT MAY and Tony.]
PETER PARKER: Hey, Aunt May.
AUNT MAY: Hey. How was school today?
PETER PARKER: Okay. This crazy car parked outside- [Turns around to see Tony sitting on the couch with his aunt]
TONY STARK: Oh, Mr. Parker.
PETER PARKER: Umm. What? What are you doing... Hey. I'm-I'm-I'm Peter.
TONY STARK: Tony.
PETER PARKER: What= What are you-What are you-What are you doing here?
TONY STARK: It's about time we met. You've been getting my e-mails, right?
PETER PARKER: Yeah?
TONY STARK: Right?
PETER PARKER: Yeah... Regarding the...
AUNT MAY: You didn't tell me about the grant.
PETER PARKER: About the grant.
TONY STARK: The September Foundation.
PETER PARKER: Right.
TONY STARK: Yeah. Remember when you applied.
PETER PARKER: Yeah.
TONY STARK: I approved. So now, we're in business.
AUNT MAY: You didn't tell me anything. What's up with that? You're keeping secrets from me now?
PETER PARKER: Why, I just, I just... I just know how much you love surprises, so I thought I would let you know... with- Anyway, what'd I apply for?
TONY STARK: That's what I'm here to hash out.
PETER PARKER: Okay. Hash, hash out, okay.
TONY STARK: It's so hard for me to believe that she's someone's aunt.
AUNT MAY: We come in all shapes and sizes, you know.
TONY STARK: This walnut bake loaf is exceptional.
PETER PARKER: Let me just stop you there.
TONY STARK: Yeah?
PETER PARKER: Is this grant, like, got money involved or whatever? No?
TONY STARK: Yeah.
PETER PARKER: Yeah.
TONY STARK: It's pretty well funded.
PETER PARKER: Wow.
TONY STARK: Look who you're talking to. [Turns to Aunt May] Can I have 5 minutes with him?
AUNT MAY: Sure.
[Tony and Peter go into Peter's room. Tony locks the door]
TONY STARK: As walnut bake loaves go, that wasn't bad. Oh. What do we have here, retro tech, huh? Thrift store? Salvation army?
PETER PARKER: Uh, the garbage actually.
TONY STARK: You're a dumpster diver.
PETER PARKER: Yeah, I was... Anyway, look. Umm. I definitely did not apply for your grant.
TONY STARK: Nuh uh. Me first. Quick question of the rhetorical variety. [Whips out his high-tech cellphone that show a holographic video of a man in a red suit and black goggles swinging around catchin bad guys] That's you, right?
Peter: Um, no. - What do you. What do you...
TONY STARK: Yeah. Look at you go. [The video shows the man in the red suit stop a van from crashing into a bus] Wow, nice catch! 3000 pounds, 40 miles an hour... It's not easy. You got mad sk**s.
PETER PARKER: That's all-That's all on Youtube though right. I mean that's where you found it. Cause' you know that's all fake. It's all done on a computer?
TONY STARK: Mm-hmm.
PETER PARKER: It's like that video-
TONY STARK: Yea yea yea yea... oh you mean like those UFOs over Phoenix?
PETER PARKER: Exactly!
TONY STARK: [opens Peter's attic which drops his suit and bag] What have we here?
PETER PARKER: Uh... That's a...
TONY STARK: So. You're this... Spider... ling. Crime fighting Spider... You're Spider-Boy?
PETER PARKER: S... Spider-Man.
TONY STARK: Not in that onesie, you're not.
PETER PARKER: It's not a onesie. [goes to his computer] You won't believe this, I was actually having a real good day today, you know, Mr. Stark. Didn't miss my trains, this perfectly good DVD player was just sitting there and... algebra test. Nailed it!
TONY STARK: Who else knows? Anybody?
PETER PARKER: Nobody.
TONY STARK: Not even your... unusually attractive Aunt?
PETER PARKER: No. No, no. No, no. If she knew, she would freak out, and when she freaks out, I freak out.
TONY STARK: You know what I think is really cool? This webbing. Tensile strength is off the charts. Who manufactured them?
PETER PARKER: I did.
TONY STARK: Climbing walls. How're you doing that? Adhesive gloves?
PETER PARKER: It's a long story. I was uh...
TONY STARK: [Tries to look to the tinted goggles] Lordy! Can you even see in these?
PETER PARKER: Yes. Yes, I can- [takes his costume away from Tony] Look, I can. I can-I can see in those. Okay? It's just that... when... whatever happened happened, it's like my senses have been dialed to 11. There's way too much input, so... they just kinda help me focus.
TONY STARK: You're in dire need of an upgrade. Systemic, top to bottom. 100-point restoration. That's why I'm here. [Peter sits on his bed] Why are you doing this? I gotta know. What's your MO? What gets you out of that twin bed in the morning?
PETER PARKER: Because... because l've been me my whole life, and l've had these powers for 6 months.
TONY STARK: Mm-Hm.
PETER PARKER: I read books, I build computers... And-And yeah, I would love to play football, but I couldn't then so I shouldn't now.
TONY STARK: Sure. 'Cause you're different.
PETER PARKER: Exactly. But I can't tell anybody that, so I'm not. When you can do the things that I can, but you don't... and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.
TONY STARK: So you wanna look out for the little guy. You wanna do your part. Make the world a better place all that, right?
PETER PARKER: Yeah. Yeah just looking out... for the little guy. That's-That's what it is.
TONY STARK: I'm going to sit here, so you move the leg. [sits on Peter's bed and hesitantly pats Peter on the shoulder] You got pa**port?
PETER PARKER: Uh, no, I don't. I don't even have a driving license.
TONY STARK: You ever been to Germany?
PETER PARKER: No.
TONY STARK: Oh, you'll love it.
PETER PARKER: I can't go to Germany!
TONY STARK: Why?
PETER PARKER: I got... homework.
TONY STARK: I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.
PETER PARKER: I'm-I'm being serious! I can't just drop out of school!
TONY STARK: Might be a little dangerous. Better tell Aunt Hottie I'm taking you on a field trip- [Peter webs Tony's hand to the handle]
PETER PARKER: Don't tell Aunt May.
TONY STARK: Alright, Spider-Man. [Awkward pause] Get me out of this.
PETER PARKER: Sorry, I'll get that.