I give up wa*kin this mornin
I never thought that I could
And I'm feeling better already
This time I'm off it for good
When I first wa*ked I thought I was so clever
And all of me mates, they were mugs
Thought I was the first Bloke here on Earth
Who'd ever played with his slug
It was me own little secret
I never told anyone
And the feelin I got, the first time I shot
Was like chooks flying outta me bum
So I'm givin up wa*kin' tomorrow
I never thought that I could
I'll be glad to get rid of these headaches
Then I'll be off it for good
I've wa*ked in some unlikely places
The shower, the beach and the pool
The dunny, a tram and the pictures
Biology cla**es at school
And once my grandmother caught me
wa*king meself in me room
But to her suprise
I just shut me eyes and imagined her standin there nude
I'm givin up wa*kin on tuesdee
I never thought that I could
Then I won't squint like I do now
Then I'll be off it for good
Me dad says it's gonna take will-power
There really is no easy trick
I honestly thought I'd need surgery
To help get me hand orf me d***
Me dad's been a great inspiration
He's really been a great help
He knows what I go through
And just what to do
Cause he give it up yest'dee himself
So I'm givin up wa*kin next Fridee
I never thought that I could
And I won't have to wear these thick gla**es
Then I'll be off it for good
So if you say you don't wa*k
Your a liar
And a fool if you say that you do
So next time you see
Prince Charles on TV
Remember he wa*ked himself too
So I'm givin up wa*kin come Christmas
I never thought that I could
And I'll sell me dog and me white cane
And then I'll be off it for good
I'm givin up wa*kin next Easter
I never thought that I could
And the warts on me hand will just vanish
Then I'll be off it for good
I'm givin up wa*kin' next August
I never thought that I could.....