I start with an apology, to break with a part of me
And beat those into archaeology who might like to dig up dirt.
It hurts, but no worse than the pain I inflicted on her,
Myself, and anyone else that taught me enough to know better.
I'll address family later..
Moving on, I wrote this poem to say sorry.
I knew your story.
I knew dudes before me had put hands on you without permission.
Security was attractive to you in the beginning,
But I did not have the experience to fill that job description.
I hesitate to say I lost control because I'm not sure I'd ever had it.
A boy no grown.
Held back by demons unknown to you and perhaps to me.
Doesn't matter how you've acted before or after.
I'll take a brief look backwards then open into a new chapter.
Where I pray for me and I pray for you. I grew.
The only was through Saturday (sadder days) to Sundays.
When sun rays beam down now I can smile.
But remember trials after the trial?
Really had me down for awhile.
See it so clearly now from this dark, padded room.
...I'm in the vocal booth.
The place where I found my truth.
One truth that I could not escape was that we do things both terrible and great
And I was no different than anyone else.
But that helped me escape part of the hate that I had built for myself.
Despite the love my mother would share with me.
I call this Music Therapy...