[Gaston]
Crazy old Maurice, hmmm?
Crazy old Maurice...
LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking
[Lefou]
A dangerous pastime
[Gaston]
I know
But that wacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only "so-so"
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony, old man
See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan
[Gaston]
If I . . . (whisper)
[Lefou]
Yes?
[Gaston]
Then we . . . (whisper)
[Lefou]
No! Would she . .
[Gaston]
(whisper) Guess!
[Lefou]
Now I get it!
[Both]
Let's go! No one plots like Gaston
[Gaston]
Takes cheap shots like Gaston
[Lefou]
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston
[Gaston]
Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful
[Lefou]
As down to the depths you descend
[Gaston]
I won't even be mildly remorseful
[Lefou]
Just as long as I (you) get what I (you) want in the end
[Gaston]
Who has brains like Gaston?
[Lefou]
Entertains like Gaston?
[Both]
Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?
And his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My, what a guy
Gaston!