[Intro]
(Oh my god, who is that?)
(Is that who I think it is?)
(Oh my gosh it's Kenneth Kaniff, I can't believe he's in my cla**!)
(I wonder if he has a girlfriend)
[Verse 1]
Ok I'm still in high school and I'll be lucky to pa**
I'm real good at most subjects but I'm s**y at math (Do you need some help with that?)
My algebra cla** is past the last door on your left
At the end of the hallway near the bottom of steps
And when I get to cla** late, there's nothing but sh**
I get insulted by my teachers just for running my lip
I'm just trying to spit game to ninth-grade hoes
Writing love letter and notes with X and Os
Like this one girl who sat next to me at a desk
I knew she liked me ‘cause she wouldn't let me cheat off her text
And she was kind of cute too, but her tits ain't developed
‘The time she's sixteen, I bet them sh** swell up
We exchanged numbers so I called on her phone
Her mom's picked up and I said “Is Jennifer home?”
She was screaming and yelling “Now how old are you?”
“Old enough to buy your daughter a cold case of brew”
[Hook]
I'm twenty-one I've been in high school for six years
The only thing I learned is how to buy you a beer
When you're standing in line, buying a three musketeers
I'm right behind you trying to buy you a beer
I bet your cheerleading friends try to tell you I'm weird
There's nothing wrong with me trying to buy you a beer
And when your tits grow big and your zits disappear
Me and you can celebrate with a six-pack of beer
[Verse 2]
Now what the f** is wrong with taking b**hes out for a drink
They got a mind of their own, screw what their parents will think
I'm Ken Kaniff, I like my p**y young and fresh
I'm off soft warm women with them b-cup breasts
If it ain't an a-cup or a white sports bra
I'm begging an 8th-grader to get their bra down[?]
Yo, it ain't my fault that I'm in algebra 2
With these freshman women who be fiending for brew
See all I do is take ‘em out, I buy ‘em a beer
It ain't my fault, when they get home, their pennies disappear
Their parents stay asking ‘em who got them drunk
But they forgot to ask who f**ed them in the back of the trunk
And that was me, Connecticut-born, star-born
Nine inches, thick like a stock of corn
So next time your high school kid's in my cla**
You'll know why your cupboard's missing a gla**
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
All the senior girls hate me ‘cause I pay them no mind
You ain't in ninth grade baby, then you're wasting my time
At a grammar school it ain't drank once in your life
s**ing forty bottles like dicks on Homer night
I like ‘em five foot three, less than a hundred pounds
With the beer belly rock hard solid around
You see I found this one chick with nipples and tits
That look brown and taste good like Kibbles 'n Bits
She used to s** my corona till the lime was gone
Her sh**'s the bomb, I had her in bikini and thongs
But we never f**ed ‘cause that sh**'s against the law
Ok I'm lying, I just did her once with cops involved
Yeah we boned, so what, I only hit her one time
It can't be illegal to say that in a rhyme
It's not like I'm twenty-nine, I'm still in high school
Bottom dollar every freshman girl says I rule
[Hook]