[TOBY]
Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your attention, please?
Are your nostrils a-quiver and tingling
As well at that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell?
Yes they are, I can tell
Well, ladies and gentlemen
That aroma enriching the breeze
Is like nothing compared to its succulent source
As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course
Ladies and gentlemen
You can't imagine the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!
There you'll sample
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Savoury and sweet pies
As you'll see
You who eat pies
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Conjure up the treat pies
Used to be
[COMPANY]
Over here, boy, how about some ale?
Let me have another, laddie
Tell me, are they flavorsome?
Could we have some service over here, boy?
Could we have some service, waiter?
Could we have some service?
[MRS. LOVETT]
Toby!
[TOBY]
Coming!
'Scuse me
[MRS. LOVETT]
Ale, there!
[TOBY]
Right, Mum!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Quick now!
[COMPANY]
God, that's good!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Nice to see you, dearie
How have you been keeping
Cor, me bones is weary
Toby, one for the gentleman
Hear the birdies cheeping
Helps to keep it cheery
Toby, throw the old woman out!
[COMPANY]
God, that's good!
[MRS. LOVETT]
What's your pleasure, dearie?
No, we don't cut slices
Cor, me eyes is bleary!
Toby!
None for the gentleman!
I could up me prices
I'm a little leery
Business couldn't be better, though
[COMPANY]
God, that's good!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Knock on wood
[TODD]
Psst!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Excuse me
[TODD]
Psst!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Dear, see to the customers
[TODD]
Psst!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Yes, what, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk
[TODD]
But it's six o'clock!
[MRS. LOVETT]
So it's six o'clock
[TODD]
It was due to arrive At a quarter to five
And it's six o'clock!
I've been waiting all day!
But it should have been here
By now! [MRS. LOVETT]
And it's probably already
Down the block!
It'll be here, it'll be here!
Have a beaker of beer
And stop worrying, dear
Now, now [COMPANY]
More hot pies! [MRS. LOVETT]
God! Will you wait there
Coolly, cause my customers truly
Are getting unruly [TODD]
You'll come back
When it comes? [MRS. LOVETT]
And what's your pleasure, dearie?
Oops! I beg your pardon!
Just me hands is smeary
Toby!
Run for the gentleman!
Don't you love a garden?
Always makes me teary
Must be one of them foreigners
[COMPANY]
God, that's good!
That is delicious!
[MRS. LOVETT]
What's my secret
Frankly, dear, forgive my candor
Family secret
All to do with herbs
Things like being careful with your coriander
That's what makes the gravy grander!
[COMPANY]
More hot pies!
More hot!
More pies!
[TODD]
Psst!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Excuse me
[TODD]
Psst!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Dear, see to the customers
[TODD]
Psst!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Yes, what, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk
[TODD]
But it's here!
[MRS. LOVETT]
It's where?
[TODD]
Coming up the stair!
[MRS. LOVETT]
I'll get rid of this lot
As they're still pretty hot
And then I'll be there!
[TODD]
It's about to be opened
Or don't you care?
[MRS. LOVETT]
No, I'll be there! I will be there!
But they'll never be sold [TODD]
But we have to prepare! If I let 'em get cold
Incidentally, dearie
You know Mrs. Mooney
Sales've been so dreary
Toby!
Poor thing is penniless
What about that loony?
Looking sort of beery
Oh well, got her comeuppance
And that'll be thruppence and
[COMPANY] God, that's good
Have you just ever tasted smell such [MRS. LOVETT]
So she should Oh my God what more that's pies good!
[TODD/MRS. LOVETT]
Ooh! Ooh!
[TODD] Is that a chair fit for a king
A wondrous neat
And most particular chair? [MRS. LOVETT]
It's gorgeous!
It's gorgeous! You tell me where
Is there a seat Can half compare
With this particular thing! It's perfect!
It's gorgeous! I have a few Minor adjustments
To make You make your few
Minor adjustments They'll take A moment
I'll call you You take your time
I'll go see to the customers I have another friend
[TOBY] Is that a pie fit for a king
A wondrous sweet
And most particular thing? [MRS. LOVETT]
It's gorgeous!
It's gorgeous! You see, ma'am, why
There is no meat pie Can compete
With this delectable pie It's perfect!
It's gorgeous! [TOBY/MRS. LOVETT]
The crust all velvety and wavy
That glaze, those crimps And then, the thick, succulent gravy
One whiff, one glimpse
So rich, so tender
That you surrender [TODD]
Now to test
This best of barber chairs
It's time
It's time [TODD]
Psst!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Excuse me
[TODD]
Psst!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Dear, see to the customers
[TODD]
Psst!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Yes, what, love?
[TODD]
Quick, now!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Me heart's aflutter!
[TODD]
When I pound the floor
[MRS. LOVETT]
When you pound the floor [TODD]
It's a signal to show
That I'm ready to go
When I pound the floor!
I just want to be sure
When I'm certain that you're
In place [MRS. LOVETT]
Yes you told me I know
When you're ready to go
When you pound the floor
Won't you trust me, won't you trust me
I'll be waiting below
For the whistle to blow I'll pound three times
Three times
And then you
Three times
If you
Exactly
[COMPANY]
More hot pies!
[MRS. LOVETT]
God!
[COMPANY]
More hot!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Right!
[COMPANY]
More pies!
[TODD]
Psst!
[COMPANY]
More!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Wait!
[COMPANY]
More hot pies!
More hot! More pies!
More! Hot! Pies! [TOBY]
Eat them slow and feel the crust, how thin she rolled it [MRS. LOVETT]
Eat them slow and feel the crust, how thin I rolled it [TOBY/MRS. LOVETT]
Eat them slow cause every one's a prize
Eat them slow cause that's the lot and now we've sold it
Come again tomorrow!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Hold it!
[COMPANY]
More hot pies!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Bless my eyes!
[TODD]
Right this way, sir
[MRS. LOVETT] Fresh supplies!
How about it, dearie
Be here in a twinkling
Just confirms my theory
Toby, God watches over us
Didn't have an inkling
Positively eerie
Toby, throw the old woman out! [TOBY]
Is that a pie
Fit for a king
A wondrous sweet
And most delectable thing
You see, Mum
Why, there is no meat pie [COMPANY]
God, that's good!
That is de-, have you
-licious, ever tasted, smell such
Oh my God, what perfect, more, that's
Pies, such flavor
God, that's good!