Barbacue food is good
You invite me out to eat, I should go
But I'm feeling kind of nervous
And not quite myself
So I'm running late on purpose
And I know this won't help
How things have become between us
If I go you'll give me hell
And that I don't know how to fix it is making me unwell
Well
I arrive at your house but you've just got up
And you are wearing a towel and your eyes look dark
I help to dry your body and I see your cut
So I give you a plaster and we cover it up
I say "have you been crying?"
And you say "shut up"
So we sit in the garden and touch gra** with our hands
The sun is going down now and it's been okay
You tell me all the things you did while i was away
and this worries me somewhat
But you say you're fine
Listen
Can you hear it?
Does it speak?
Will I feel it?
Will it hurt?
Am I near it?
I don't know
I don't know how more people haven't got mental health
problems, thinking is one of the stressful things I've
ever come across and not being able to articulate what I
want to say drives me crazy, I think I should read some
more books, learn some new words, my sister used to
read the dictionary, I'm gonna start with that. I'd like to
travel, I want to see India, and the pyramids, a whale and
that race with all the bycicles in France. I'm not sure about
rivers, they scare me, but I love swimming, I'm good at it,
and when I swim I count the laps and this helps me relax.
When I was younger I saw a house burn down and I
walked past it everyday for the next six years, derelict, black, chalky
and dangerous, I wondered if squatters lived there, I'm
still not sure but I know there were never any parties
because it was a sh**hole.
After a while the council got round to tidying up the
town, they decided it was an eyesore and so they
tore it down, behind the house was a wall with a
few bits of crappy graffiti and the word c*nt
written in giant letters and now I walk past that.
I like go to the park, I like walking through it, I
like taking my dogs there, and friends and I like
being alone. I like being able to shout but I wish I
could be quiet, when I'm quiet people just think
I'm sad and usually I am. Sometimes when I'm at
a really noisy train station, one of the ones with the
big fat trains like Kings Cross I feel like putting
down my bags and shouting things out because I've
got something to say. Don't you want to share the
Guilt?... don't think just try and sleep.